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Topic ClosedWording glitches in some in-game texts

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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Wording glitches in some in-game texts
    Posted: 01 Nov 2012 at 21:43
Ceramic Magic completion mail: "... he is happy to drop of a hefty pouch of coins ..." that use of "of" should be "off" !

Miner's Guild, Skinner's Guild, etc. (any building with an apostrophe in its name); if I select the building, my browser tab displays its name in the title bar; and you've used ' instead of a plain old apostrophe - which really is the legitimate semantics of ' in ASCII - so I see "Miner's Guild" in my title bar instead of "Miner's Guild". (Just in case this web-form digests character codes; that's "Miner's Guild", with the "ampersand hash thirty-nine" clearly visible.)

Tormand information mail: on the legend's surrounding the founding of the mine, the mail says "Their story has many fanciful details about wresting mountain trolls and securing the land by ..." and I can believe "wresting" (with no ell in it) the land from its former owners involved "wrestling" (with an ell in it) some of them, but I think you have a typo ! Your spell-checker didn't spot it because the error leaves a valid word, just not the right one to use here.

A Herd Day's Night (2/2) Completed: Gregor pays "with 6 of his best heads of cattle" - I'm fairly sure rural usage of "head" would phrase that as "with 6 head of his best cattle" - as if cattle were a continuous resource rather than a discrete one, and "head" doesn't go to a plural. Ask an actual farmer or stockman, though. (Alternatively, "with 6 of his best cattle" is definitely just fine.)

Foundry, Kiln, Carpentry: "Increasing the efficiency [...] will see a steady increase in [resource] production at the rate of 2% per hour per level." If only that were literally true ! Increasing it by 2% (not per hour, just one-off) means increasing the hourly production by 2% of what I'm producing each hour; the rate of production is in units/hour, so 2% of it is also in units/hour; doing that *each hour* would be a rate of *acceleration* of production. [If a vehicle's speed is increasing at 10% per hour, on a base speed of 10 km/hr, then it's accelerating at 1 km/hr/hr; the speed is 10 km per hour, 10% of it is thus 1 km per hour; 10% *per hour* of it is thus 1 km/hr/hr, an acceleration, not a one-off change in speed.] Say I'm producing the relevant resource at 100 units / hour; if I increase that by 2% (e.g. by having the relevant facility at level 1), I'll be producing at 102/hour. If I increase it by 2% *per hour* then, after the first hour, I'll have 102/hour; after the second 104/hour, after the third 106/hour, etc.; after fifty hours, I'll have doubled output, without even getting past level 1. You actually just mean that leveling up the facility increases production by 2% per level. Skip the "per hour" ! (... or change the phrasing to "at the rate of 2% of the hourly production per hour per level" ... nah.) There are similar spurious uses of "% per hour" elsewhere.

     Eddy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2012 at 22:02
Sure enough, the web-form did interpret the character entities; the just-in-case version of the "Miner&#39s Guild" is what I actually see in the browser-tab as page title.

     Eddy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2012 at 22:03
If you haven't already I would suggest that you fill out some petitions. These grammatical errors and misspellings are considered low priority as far as petition ranking goes, so I wouldn't expect an answer anytime soon.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Nov 2012 at 13:38
I considered them so low-priority that I didn't want to clutter the petition system with them - if they get picked up here, that'll be great. If they go unnoticed here, meh, I'll live.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Nov 2012 at 14:59
Thank you for helping us proofread. ;) 

Petitions won't be necessary. This is fine. 

Luna
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Nov 2012 at 15:18
May I be ultra-pedantic and suggest that the cited example be Miners' Guild, because "Miners" is plural.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Nov 2012 at 11:42
(I'm not so fussed about whether a guild belongs to each miner or to all of them. An inn called "Traveller's Rest" is indeed a rest for any traveller to come along; while the "Travellers' Rest" is equally validly announcing that all travellers are welcome. If you're a miner join your guild, the Miner's guild (you are a a singular miner and it's yours); all miners are members of their guild, the Miners' guild.)

One more: on creating a new city, I get a mail that tells me (inter alia) "To switch between your cities, you will now have a second city listed on a City drop-down menu" even when it's my third city. Replacing "a second" with "another" would work for all. On the other hand, the wording is kinda funky. "To switch between your cities, use the City drop-down menu" situated where it is; and maybe add a next sentence saying "Each city you found gets added to this menu." but I'm not convinced it's needed; calling it "the City drop-down menu" covers that just fine.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Nov 2012 at 14:42
If it is a guild FOR miners rather than a guild BELONGING TO miners, then miners is an adjective describing the guild rather than a possessive and there should be no apostrophe at all.  E.g., there were multiple merchants guilds in the Middle Ages.  The miners guild is a place where miners hang out.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Nov 2012 at 18:17
I dunno, a sty for pigs is a pig-sty, so perhaps a guild for miners is a miner-guild, but I make no sense at all of a "miners guild" with neither apostrophe nor hyphenation. I can invent (grammatically valid) justifications for both "miner's guild" (the guild calls itself that to remind each miner that it's her guild as much as any other miner's; it belongs to each miner) and "miners' guild" (the guild calls itself that to emphasise its collective nature; it belongs to the miners, all together), expressing the two aspects of the guild belonging to the miners "jointly and severally"; but a "miners guild" just looks ungrammatical to me. I'm fairly sure it was more usual, historically, for a guild to take the collectivist view of its nature, hence to be called "Miners' guild"; but I'm not going to tell someone they're "wrong" to call it a "Miner's guild" if they want to; as I say, I can see what justification they can come up with for that, entirely within the grammar I'm used to, so I see no reason to grumble at their doing so, even if they are being unorthodox.

You might be able to point to lots of usage (that'd probably make my old school-teachers spin in their graves) matching your approach, to render "miners guild" (with no apostrophe) a valid usage (from the linguistic pragmatic perspective - if your readers understand you, you've committed no foul); but that doesn't make "miner's guild" invalid (indeed, I'm sure all players understand that just fine), it just increases the number of valid ways of saying the same thing (and arguably declares use of the apostrophe for possessives to be getting archaic; get with the time's, grandpa, apostrophe's are used for plural's these day's, possessive's don't need it). Feel free to write "miners guild" when you write it, but I can't agree with you telling others they're "wrong" to use "miner's guild" if they so wish.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Nov 2012 at 18:21
Anyway: another glitch in wording, this time in the description of Break Trade Embargo. After a preamble, it says:
Quote This raises the chance of getting past a hostile Blockade to a total of 1.5% per level of Market and 1% per level of Trade Office. (If you have more than one Trade Office, each subsequent building provides only half the effect of the previous one.)

So the market contributes 1.5% per level; the first Trade Office contributes 1% per level; the second .5% per level, the third .25% per level, etc.
Quote For example, if this town has a level 20 Market your traders have a 30% chance of avoiding each Blockade,

I entertain the delusion that I understand you so far; 20 levels of Market worth 1.5% each yield a total of 30%.
Quote whereas if the town has one Market and 3 Trade Offices they have an 82.5% chance.

Here's where it all goes awry. You haven't said anything about what level the Trade Offices are (or, indeed, the Market; but I can assume it's the same one just mentioned). To pick up the remaining 52.5% I need all of my Trade Offices to add up to nearly twice what my market contributes; but infinitely many Trade Offices would still only contribute 2% per level, so can't get beyond 40%, for a total (with the Market) of 70%. With just three of them, all at level 20, I see 1.5+1+.5+.25 = 3.25% times 20 for a 65% (not 82.5%) chance of getting past the blockade.

Did it in fact mean that we get an extra 1.5% per level of Market, on top of the 1% that Blockade Running gave us; and, likewise, an extra 1% per level of Trade Office on top of that from Blockade Running ? That'd give 2.5% per level of Market, so 50% from 20 levels, with 2%, 1% and 0.5% from each of the Trade Offices, which can easily account for the remaining 12.5% if they're of suitable levels (e.g. 5, 2 and 1); but the text quoted above says quite clearly that the increase leaves us with "a total of" 1.5% per level of Market and 1% per level of Trade Office. So that doesn't seem plausible.

If these were compounded interest payments, I might believe you apply factors of 1.3 (market's 30% increase), 1.2 (first Trade office's 20%), 1.1 (second, 10%) and 1.05 (third, 5%) for a grand 1.8018, but that's still only 80-and-a-bit percent, not 82.5% and these aren't compounded increases on a base value, so that doesn't seem to be what you mean.

Perhaps what you really mean is the probability of being intercepted is a product of 0.7 (1 minus 30% from the Market), 0.8 (1 minus 20% from the first Trade Office), 0.9 (1 minus 10%) and 0.95 (1 minus 5%), but that gives me 0.4788 = 1-.5212 so a 52.12% chance of getting past. Or 0.7 (1 minus 30% from Market) times 0.65 (1 minus 20%, 10%, 5% from three Trade Offices) = 0.455, a 54.5% chance of escape. So neither of those matches.

I can't work it out, so I've no idea what's going on with this example: before I read it, I thought I understood how this worked, after reading this example I'm confused !

The example should definitely say how much the market and each trade office, separately, is contributing to the total; that would be clearer ! As it is, you haven't shown your working, so I can't see what I'm misunderstanding and have to suspect you've worked it out wrongly.

     Eddy.
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