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Vampire Jokes

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ajqtrz View Drop Down
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    Posted: 31 Jan 2015 at 18:12
Why do people die for Vampire Jokes?

They crave Zombie Jokes

Why do Vampires never tell jokes to Zomie's?

No sense repeating themselves.


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Thexion View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thexion Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2015 at 12:55
Vampire jokes are not funny cause after punch line they end sucking the audience dead.
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Rill View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rill Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2015 at 04:17
What are the two main vampire gangs?

The Bloods and the Drips.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Binky the Berserker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Jan 2015 at 18:59
Why do vampires die when they get a wooden stake through their heart?

try to put a stake throughh your own heart
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Fiona Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Jan 2015 at 18:10
Did you notice how bad mine did suck aj? Wacko hehe
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ajqtrz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Jan 2015 at 15:49
Why did they lock the vampire up in insane asylum?

He went batty!

What got the vampire released from the insane asylum?

He realized he couldn't just hang round.

(I said the Vampire Jokes had to suck!)

AJ
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Fiona Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jan 2015 at 14:59
Ok heres my uhh bad ones

What's a vampires favorite drink?
A Bloody Mary

What is the difference between a mosquito and a vampire?
The mosquito makes you itch.   
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Artefore Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jan 2015 at 13:14
Not specifically a joke, but here goes:  

What is the sound that goes bump on dark nights?
Is it ghouls, or ghosts, or pixies or sprites?  

Is a hairy grey werewolf waiting to strike,
Or a green orc, with heads on a pike.

Perhaps it's a zombie who wants to eat brains, 
or a banshee to take you as you struggle in vain.  

Is it an evil red demon about to descend
onto you hungry for pink flesh to rend?

The truth is less scary, 
Thank goodness for that. 
It's a timid old vampire 
disguised as a bat.  

When it comes to frightening,
I think you're in luck.  
It's only a vampire,
and at frightening they SUCK.  

-Thank you-
"don't quote me on that" -Artefore
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hora Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jan 2015 at 10:24
OK... that's my try to translate a lengthy german joke into english... =)
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Three vampires meet on a hilltop. Somewhat bored they decide to do a competition in bloodsucking.

The first vampire starts... half an hour passes... then he comes back, blood trickling from one side of his mouth.
"Do you see the light over there? That's a campfire. I killed everyone in the camp, 30 people including the female campleader!"

Not bad... so the second vampire took to the air and went off. One hour passes... then he returns, mouth smeared with blood.
"Do you see the streetlamps over there? That's a village... which now is abandoned. I counted some 60 people and even got their mayor."

Impressive! Thus the last vampire starts... One hour passes... a second hour passes... That has to be a huge carnage!
After 3 hours he finally returns. Bloodstains all over the body, arms and face smeared red.
"And? How many did you get?" the other vampires inquired.
"Do you see the tree over there in the dark?.... I didn't..."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GM Stormcrow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jan 2015 at 02:57
This is awful.  Carry on.
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