the results are in bold and underlined below if you don't care how I got them. I might be wrong, someone should check. I checked these results with the combat calculator. 
The attacker casualty formula is Defender Strength (Ds) over Attacker Strength (As) times the number of attackers. Using the following variables:
Na = number of attack units.
B = Charge Level (not percentage, the Level)
Us = Unit Strength, single unit attack strength (like 65 for a knight)
H = Heroism Level
we can say:
Troop Attack Strength = Us * (1 + B / 100) * Na
Commander Attack Strength = Us * (1 + B / 100) * (1 + 6 * H)
adding them together and re-arranging we can say this about Attack Strength:
As = Us * (1 + B / 100) * (Na + (1 + 6 * H))
This equation is exact making the following assumptions:
- Na has a sufficiently high value (to avoid commander attack strength discontinuity, how high is specified below)
- commander and troop types are the same
- there is only one commander
Putting it together and re-arranging the complete casualty equation looks like this:
Attacker Casualties = 1/((1+B/100)*(Na+1+6*H)) * [Na * Ds / Us]
There is more to the complete combat calculation, but this is exact with the assumptions made. From this formula, we can see that casualties will vary proportionally with the following formula (dependent on B and H):
f(BH) = 1/((1+B/100)*(Na+1+6*H))
This formula has three variables, two of which we want to compare rates of change against so we need to calculate derivatives and solve for the third variable. So, we should calculate df(BH)/dB and df(BH)/dH and set them equal. I didn't do that, it's a pain and I'm too old to remember how. It will be close if we set the equation equal to itself with B=0,H=1 on one side and B=1,H=0 on the other and solve for Na. When we do that we see that for Na=599 it doesn't matter if you increase Heroism from 0 to 1 or Charge from 0 to 1.
Even if you have a knight commanders with 9 Heroism and 0 Charge the point at which it doesn't matter if you increase B or H only drops to ~545.
If the number of attackers is greater than 545 then increasing B from 0 to 1 will decrease casualties more. If the number of attackers is less than 545 then increasing H from 0 to 1 will decrease casualties more.
What changes if you have a knight commander leading men-at-arms? Parity will be reached at a higher number of troops (probably much higher) because the bonus is less effective as it no longer applies to both the commander and troops. What happens if you have 5 knight commanders? Parity between increasing B from 0 to 1 or H from 0 to 1 for all five at once is reached at 2,995 troops. etc...
If you are sending out more than 545 troops with the goal of leveling commanders then you're taking more casualties per Xp than you need to in order to level your troops (please don't make me show how). In that scenario, the question is why would you care if increasing B or H is more effective at reducing casualties?