largest army size

1. You see an elf trespassing on your estates. What do you do?
A   WAAAAGH;
B  Passively look at elf and ignore him;
C  Invite him to a friendly drink and discuss the finer points of diplomacy and etiquette with him;
D  Charge and scream: "I will fight you! I will chase you down. I will hunt you like a pig. I will kill you, skin you, eat your guts. From your skull I will drink your blood!"

2. You need some dwarven meat to complete famous orcish dish of dwarven flesh stew (http://www.orcmagazine.com/ORC_MAGAZINE/Dwarf_Flesh_Stew.html), but you are lacking just one pound of dwarven meat. What might your action be in this situation?
A   WAAAAAGH;
B   Go to obese dwarf and try to negotiate with him on liposuction;
C  Use pig meat instead of dwarf meat;
D  Brutally attack nearest dwarven settlement and after violent and a totally excessive carnage pick up pound of dwarven meat that lies in endless pile of corpses in big blood pool.

3. You are a bit bored and wonder what kind of entertainment would be acceptable this evening.
A   WAAAAAGH;
B  Go quietly to sleep counting the virtual sheep to help with insomnia;
C  Empty all reserves of strongest orcish alcohol beverages that would dissolve other puny races to big smelly pool of goo;
D  Pick up an exe and start slaughter your non-orchish neighbours indiscriminately singing well known orchish light poetry “Skin, fry, toss the dwarf, gently down the hill, merrily, merrily, merrily....”

4. Your commander informs you that moral of your kobold troops is a bit low. You need to act quickly, what do you do?
A  WAAAAAGH;
B  Go to the barracks and make a long philosophical speech about meaning of life, general purpose of existence and educate your kobolds in special and general theory of relativity, so every kobold would feel at home in vast and infinite universe of Elgea;
C  Pick up your heaviest axe and execute all commanders for being too lenient towards kobolds;
D  Pick up your special double handed blood soaked axe, go to the barracks and brutally extinguish life of every pathetic little kobold, so no kobold will ever dare to feel demoralized, even though this logic is a bit flawed, since no kobold will survive the righteous fury. But leading by good example is paramount.

5. Ashamed quartermaster informs you that some supplies are missing. What do you do?
A  WAAAAGH;
B  Go to the warehouse and manually recount every piece of clay, wood, iron,... in your stores. After several months of careful counting, come to conclusion, that your stores might be missing some resources but this is probably due to statistical counting error or due to the fact that your quartermaster can’t count past the number three...
C  Whip all your subjects so harshly that resource deficits will be replenished in no time;
D  Pick up your spiked club, terrorize and torture all  the neighbours, until someone actually confesses to the theft. After confession impale his lifeless carcass in front of your main city gates alongside all other neighbors that didn’t survived your truth seeking crusade and may have actually been innocent, if in some imagionary world innocence is even possible... After this little operation send out all the thieves and plunder back 10 times the stolen resources from other few neighbors that actually survived...

P. S.

Be creative in your answers. A,B,C,D are just possible options to consider