Thoughts on Rudeness

Jax, all the more reason to share!  The benefits are that we get your insights and you get much better at typing...LOL.

AJ

For Twi, whom I respect greatly:

The description of Caravanserai : "A place to just chat about whatever takes your fancy, whether it's about Illyriad or not."

Maybe that's why they haven't reigned in my forum production.  Besides, if the forum is part of the game (I think of it more as a part of the playground where people sit and discuss things), you have to admit that at least it's been a bit livelier over the last couple months.  LOL

That the subjects I put my posts on take my fancy is just that.  I like challenging people's thoughts on ethics, morals, philosophy etc...

For others as well, most of whom have overall treated me with a reasonable amount of respect, (even if, as is only human, we all have slipped from time to time).

And it is in fact, true that no one has to read my posts.  Of course if I were a really big player I could just tell everybody they had to do so or I would start razing their cities.....would that be part of "aggressive game play?"  LOL  (I'm just having fun here folks).

And it is also a fact that my posts are longer than most...sometimes a lot longer.  I generally don't shorten them because they do take time and this is an informal forum where some leeway is allowed in style.  I will think about this and consider it.  However, it does appear to me that a good deal of the complaints are from those who consistently say they haven't read my posts...so I'm not sure if the extra effort will garner more readers (and more informed discussion) or not.

In any case, it's obvious to me that the style of writing in the forum is rather loose and much less restricted as is evident by the number of short and pointed barbs directed at the author rather than the actual subject of the thread.  One does wonder how a person can both claim to have not read the thread and still consider that they have an intellectually honest and thoughtful response.  At least I wonder.  But maybe stating that is being too rude.  Do forgive me as I ramble a bit.....

As for the example used to start the post, I do admit I did not give it a lot of thought as I too come from a tradition where asking the father for his blessing is considered a polite formality.   Maybe I should as I do have three unmarried daughters in their twenties.  To tell the truth I do sort of expect their boyfriends, when the time comes, to approach me and have some kind of conversation about their desire to marry my daughter.  I wonder how I might feel if they skip the procedure.  I really don't know, but if it happens I'll be sure to let you know.

But back to the subject at hand. 

A couple of personal experiences.

I suffer from a leg condition which makes it advantageous for me to have my feet up on a coffee table.  I have to constantly remind myself that showing the bottoms of you shoes in some cultures is considered rude because I have quite a few friends from that part of the world.   So when I have guests that may be from those cultures I try to keep my feet flat on the ground.  The interesting this is that some of my closer friends from that part of the world are quite gracious when I forget, and I suspect that is why we get along so well.  Graciousness is an art I've never mastered but I do keep trying. 

Another example was when I was a graduate student I fell into the company of a group of Nigerian students, all of whom were about the same age.  One day I was speaking to Akeem and asked him is age.  He laughed my question off.  A few days later I repeated my question.  He changed the subject.  Another friend from that part of the world was there and took me aside to inform me that that in some parts of Nigeria you don't ask the age of your friends because as long as you don't know their age you don't have do obeisance  (bow down) when you enter the room if you are older.  So friends, out of politeness, don't ask their friends their ages.  In fact, it is a sign of great honor for a friend to volunteer his or her age as it shows great respect.  Needless to say I never asked again.

Maybe you can share some of your experiences with cross cultural behaviors and we can all be better prepared to discuss what is rude and what is not.

AJ

takes off her halo...I totally support rills statement and would also like to respond to the sexist statement of suns......just cause AJ is an older man and has choose to not use drugs to enhance his body functions and think its just rude to him to deny him an alternative means to achieve this body response.......sorry Rikoo I just couldn't resist.....waits for the boot....cyas but leaves in laughter

Sun, I think your response is uncalled for.  While I don't agree with aj about all matters, he has the courage to raise questions.  If you don't want to respond, then don't; if you don't even want to read his posts, then don't -- but there's no need for personal attacks.

quit outting me and figure out the purpose of the change about..winks...remember the forums are part of the game and should be used as such..everything I do is game play and I suspect that ajs topics are the same and come to think of it you just one upped me in game play....grins