While in LWO during the first mass move, I can personally attest to the power of reasoned dialogue with H?. Zolvon can attest to this as well, since after the introduction of the new map with all the terrain and regions the devs opened up the ability for a span of a month to use Teneril's relocation spell on all your cities. It just so happened that LWO and H? decided on Lan Larosh as the spot they wished to consolidate their alliance to. Specifically the area near the big lake in Lan Larosh.
A reasoned dialogue was opened up and with a NAP in place both alliances were able to claim the spots they had their eyes on which in some cases were within 10 of each other. H?, if they were the players and alliance some misguided posters claim them to be, could have very well used this as an excuse to wipe out LWO without so much as batting their eyes. LWO at the time was barely in the top 40 of alliances and I had a little over 1K pop just enough for third city.
Now I am in H? and very similar situations as the one above with LWO are cropping up. Rather then wait for the individual fires to rear their ugly heads, it was decided to take a proactive stance. So, based on prior experiences, such as above, and current experiences with exodus KP made his post.
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With that said, I am currently working on consolidating my cities in and about Ender/Speaker. I spent over 4 weeks talking with nearby players that might be affected by my city moves or has cities on spots I hoped to move to. I believe my offers were very beneficial pointing out spots that in most instances were better then the one I hoped to claim, offering resource compensation and help with rebuilding securing the site for them if they accepted. If they didn't, I left them alone and modified my plans accordingly. You can speak with both Lady Luvs and Astro82 for confirmation of both generosity and moving on when the offer wasn't accepted.
I believe in the utilization of diplomacy to attempt to resolve potential conflict and/or disputes before they manifest; however, I am not above the use of force and escalation to encourage a more reasoned discussion if the "dialogue" from one side is simply "pound sand", "suckaaah", or "pleb."