The Great Spandex War
Printed From: Illyriad
Category: Miscellaneous
Forum Name: The Caravanserai
Forum Description: A place to just chat about whatever takes your fancy, whether it's about Illyriad or not.
URL: http://forum.illyriad.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=5240
Printed Date: 17 Apr 2022 at 17:59
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.03 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: The Great Spandex War
Posted By: Ashtar
Subject: The Great Spandex War
Date Posted: 05 Sep 2013 at 15:28
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Due to the recent increase in the harvesting of elf ears by a Certain Unnamed Orc *cough cough - banisdead - cough cough* - I have decided to reveal his greatest secret! He is a spandex wearing Orc! That's right people - SPANDEX - all colors of the rainbow! Day and night! He never leaves home without it! He will tell you it is because he loves spandex , however I believe he just wants to look skinnier (like an elf) and wears it for that reason ! His assertions to the contrary are currently falling on deaf ears as we Elves are in the process of re-growing them. Till he returns our beloved ears and publicly admits he loves spandex - we will continue this war of words! ( ha ha ha ha ha ha - NEVER dare an elf to do something - they just might do it Banis ) ------------- Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. - Buddha |
Replies:
Posted By: robbrit
Date Posted: 05 Sep 2013 at 15:32
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I believe this needs a dance off. ------------- 
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Posted By: GM Luna
Date Posted: 05 Sep 2013 at 15:40
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Wait.... Does this mean he's a superhero Orc? ------------- GM Luna | Illyriad Community Manager | community@illyriad.co.uk 
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Posted By: Ashtar
Date Posted: 05 Sep 2013 at 15:43
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Rob - there can be no dance off as we elves cannot hear the music due to the harvesting of our ears by that Spandex wearing Orc! Nevertheless, we shall prevail !!! ------------- Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. - Buddha |
Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 05 Sep 2013 at 15:44
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How dare you besmirch my good name Ash!!! The truth of the matter is Ash is jealous of my spandex look and knows she couldn't pull it off. I will return the ears once I have a public apology! http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/These_Lumps?file=Adventure_time_these_lumps_by_the_candy_girls" rel="nofollow - http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/These_Lumps?file=Adventure_time_these_lumps_by_the_candy_girls Luna, Orks are generally super, I'm super super! elfs are supper... ------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Ashtar
Date Posted: 05 Sep 2013 at 15:52
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Rofl Banis!!! take a look at my profile you silly bean Orc!!!! I can pull off A shapeshifter look ! Given that, I can make spandex look good whereas you just well , dude no! ! Go flaunt those bright pink spandex pants somewhere else ! AND GIVE ME BACK MY EARS! Oh and you might want to tuck in tha back hair - it is showing :P ------------- Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. - Buddha |
Posted By: robbrit
Date Posted: 05 Sep 2013 at 15:57
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Ash: you can dance without hearing the music, just flail around wildly. -------------
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Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 05 Sep 2013 at 16:05
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/me removes spandex smoking jacket and dons his spandex forum war jacket. The spandex gloves are off ------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Ashtar
Date Posted: 05 Sep 2013 at 16:06
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Ohhh you threw down the spandex gaunlet?? BRING IT ON!! ------------- Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. - Buddha |
Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 05 Sep 2013 at 16:16
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This ork looks fiiiiine as,see for yourself! http://moblog.net/media/m/i/n/minkey/spandex-2.jpg" rel="nofollow - http://moblog.net/media/m/i/n/minkey/spandex-2.jpg ------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: abstractdream
Date Posted: 05 Sep 2013 at 18:33
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I have friends both elf and orc and demand this senseless, never ending war of word must ended now. If peace is not settled by the next of the next moon phase, I will personally settle this myself. I prepared to strip down to spandex and dance until those ears are restored and orcs put on pants, big parachute pants. ------------- |
Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 08:29
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I would just like to correct some factual errors which some members of this community would wish you to believe. Some would say I am camp pink spandex lovin' fat hairy ork, it just isn't true, I am slightly receding and much of the alleged hairiness is actually back hair, which has been dreaded for reasons of hygiene (obviously, do you think I'm also a dirty ork!). Some might say why not let sleeping elfs lie, but I cannot stand back and let those insidious forces spin their redolent prevarications. Here I stand, as a camp, pink spandex lovin, fat, slightly receding ork, for all to see and with nothing to hide, except my stolen elf ears. Take it or leave it! That is the truth! ------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Ashtar
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 10:46
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OMG - now my eyes will never be the same Banis! that pictures is just wrong on soooooo many levels.and there were no factual errors presented. I told the truth, i just mentioned the back hair cause it is the only hair I can see :P. AHA! I knew you had me ears ! Our war of words will continue until my ears have been restored to me! OH and by the way, LOVEEE today's yellow spandex LOL ------------- Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. - Buddha |
Posted By: Darkwords
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 11:51
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I hate to sound like a 'kill joy', or some grumpy old man (which is a more accurate description for me), but could such banter as this PLEASE be conducted via GC or IGMs. This forum is generally used for fairly serious discussion regarding the game and for it to be spammed with what is essentially a two way talk that could be done via igm's is a real shame in my eyes. I would hate to see such a thing become common place and it would certainly make me less fond of this game. |
Posted By: Widdershins
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 12:21
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This is very serious Darkwords civilisation as we know it hangs in the balance. BTW I thought this forum was used to spam insults at each other thinly disguised as threads about wars.
Edit oh sry that is the Politics and & Diplomacy thread.
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Posted By: Ashtar
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 12:32
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Darkwords - Perhaps you should re-read what it says about the area of the forum where this thread is posted - wait - here it is for you - The Caravanserai - A place to just chat about whatever takes your fancy, whether it's about Illyriad or not. If you want "fairly serious discussion regarding the game" may i politely suggest you click on the Games and suggestions forum instead ? Tecnical Support is also a good one. Either way, it is more than a two person discussion, i,e me, Banis, Luna, Robbrit, Abstractdream, Widdershins all have commented. So have a cuppa of whatever you like and just roll with it. ------------- Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. - Buddha |
Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 12:34
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Regardless of who believes this thread is serious or not, there is more at stake! My honour and reputation is hanging in tatters. I have been unjustly accused of a heinous crime which I am innocent of and I will not rest until the perpetrators of this crime are punished by the mighty astral spandex god Bon Jovi.
------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Ashtar
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 12:40
INNOCENT???? ME thinks not when you have admitted it !!!!!! I merely pointed out the reason for the start of the war, your reluctance to admit you stole my ears!!!! (and your back hair problem) I demand their return at once!!! Or I shall send smelly humans to invade your cave! ------------- Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. - Buddha |
bansisdead wrote:Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 12:44
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Ash, you know as well as I do that the act of stealing elf ears by orks is NATURE! By not stealing elf ears I would be committing a crime against generations of my ork brethren, may the mighty astral spandex god Bon Jovi protect their innocent souls. ------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Ashtar
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 12:48
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Banis - you also know that under the Dominion charter, page 14, sub section 10, paragraph 4 - Stealing elf ears is prohibited. This was agreed upon by the Horde to ensure you did not mistake us for dinner while on the battlefield. I even provided a picture book for you! ------------- Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. - Buddha |
Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 12:51
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Not even the Dominion charter, page 14, sub section 10, paragraph 4 (with pictures) has the right to question nature.
------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: abstractdream
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 12:52
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To be clear, 14-10-4 is only applicable to Orcs. As for Bon Jovi, though he has a rather nice name, I am outraged...just outraged! ------------- |
Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 12:57
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abstractdream, you are playing with spandex questioning the mighty astral spandex god bon jovi. May he smote you with spandex gimp masks!!!
------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 13:06
Pls don't involve Kale! ------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: robbrit
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 13:22
A problem we can attempt to fix ;) Maybe Darkwords was attacked by a spandex-wearing orc when he was little. Bansis, was that you? -------------
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Posted By: Darkwords
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 15:32
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I can guarantee you the only orc that has attacked me with the slightest modicum of success is Tigre, and he wears no spandex (he's more of a Lycra man) as he's a modern orc. Banality aside, I had thought that this forum was where the grown-ups of Illyriad hang out, seeing it turn into a site of pointless gibbering posts is a shame, but maybe the devs actually want to put off the adult educated fan base that they constantly boast about. There would be a way of avoiding it though if the 'latest post' section only listed any one thread once, rather than allowing people to spam out the conversations that are ongoing by posting pointless remarks repeatedly. Kind of odd how the Bane - NC war ended, considering the politics that had become involved, then this thread starts and constantly blocks any comments on it from the latest post section. |
Posted By: GM Luna
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 16:27
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Darkwords, unless people are expressly breaking a forum rule they can post about what they want in this section of the forum. Luna ------------- GM Luna | Illyriad Community Manager | community@illyriad.co.uk
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Posted By: Darkwords
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 16:32
| I wasn't telling anyone what to do, merely suggesting. |
Posted By: robbrit
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 16:39
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Oh come now, in what point during your adult education did you learn to stop having fun? What's the point of it if you just sit around talking about boring politics all the time? Bansis: You should invite Kale to your cave. I'm sure you could convince him to wear spandex and join your army. -------------
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Posted By: Kale
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 16:43
And you would be wrong. |
Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 17:40
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I do apologies to all those who find this very serious issue banal or pointless gibberish, obviously it is to some, but like the many worlds theory points out there could be an infinite amount of possibilities for every given action, in one dimension this issue could be seen as boring but in another dimension one could view this as a fascinating subject. Each to their own, but for the time being in this dimension this issue, boring or not shall continue, until Ashtar apologies. ------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Nokigon
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 18:20
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I find the thought of Kale in spandex abhorrent. I would like to strongly suggest (in other words, beg) that no attempt to change his mind is made. Also, Bansis.... BON JOVI? You are dead to me.
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Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 21:51
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Just imagine Kale in one of those many other dimensions, campin it up in spandex!!! It is happening as we speak. Also Ashtar is apologising to me in several other dimensions for her indiscretions, and those ear are mine, I've knitted myself a rather fetching sweater of elf ears- made with love +10, which I am wearing RIGHT NOW!!! so I don't think you really want them back... ------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: abstractdream
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 22:44
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Your many worlds theory holds no wafers. I would like to explain how feckless your reasoning is but I can barely bring myself to type the letters that make up the word Jovi. Bon on the other hand is sublime. As for adult political discourse, a wise man once noted that " it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail." ------------- |
Posted By: Kale
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 22:49
| Bansis, I would remind you that I have siege engines and the power to drop Confeds. Have a lovely day. |
Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 06 Sep 2013 at 23:52
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Ofcourse Kale! I would never imagine you in THIS dimension parading around in a spandex leotard, that just isn't right!
------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: bansisdead
Date Posted: 07 Sep 2013 at 00:12
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abstractdream There is no need to bring adult political discourse into this discussion. A 'wise' man also once said "Try to make original mistakes, rather than needlessly repeating theirs." http://" rel="nofollow - - ------------- http://elgea.illyriad.co.uk/a/p/124253" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Jane DarkMagic
Date Posted: 07 Sep 2013 at 06:21
| For the record David Bowie's spandex in Labyrinth is far superior to Bon Jovi's *Happily chews on an elf ear* |
Posted By: Kumomoto
Date Posted: 07 Sep 2013 at 07:03
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Farmers don't wear spandex. |
Posted By: Ashtar
Date Posted: 07 Sep 2013 at 10:07
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I shall never apologize Banis ! Not in this world or any other! You took my lovely elf ears and are currently bandying them about on your person for all the world to see! All I did was give the world a little known secret about a certain Orc. Shall I revert back to my true elf nature and banish the entire SO? Orc Horde into the Forbidding with my magic? (+10 if you can tell me the literary reference there) - We are a long lived race and began as warmongers - we only become civilized when dealing with other races. Oh btw - I have stolen all your supply of spandex in retribution for me ears :P. so enjoy the purple tights - they are your last pair ! Muwahahahaha ------------- Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. - Buddha |