Yes, it's a game, but there is a significant social aspect to any MMO game and I'm not talking about chat (I don't really do that) I'm talking about an introductory IGM simply saying "hi" between players with cities near one another.

If you send out a message and get no reply (not even a perfunctory one), how do you feel (react, pre-judge, etc...)?

In this particular case the person was likely being perma-sat.  Perhaps that is what the situation is in most of these cases.

I receive a significant number of mails (most, by far) that are very poorly written - failing to specify the "who, what, when, where, how, and why" and failing to state a desired remedy.  [Often times, it seems these mails assume I can hear the voices in the head of the author, too - which I can not - so the author will need to tell me what is in his head.]  My position is that if the writer is unwilling to provide me with the foregoing in the initial communication, then I am not going to spend my time attempting to gather the information on my own.

I also see a lot of mails that suggest the author (incorrectly) believes that threats/rants/CAPS/personal insults are effective means of communication and dispute resolution.  Mails like these are easily ignored.

Finally, if I have stated my position and receive a reply attempting to re-argue the same matter, I will typically not respond as I would only be repeating myself which wastes everyone's time.

Hmmm, some very insightful points.  From the responses it seems that there are cases of "reasonable" communication that I would say one could expect replies from and cases of "unreasonable" communications that one could not.

If I'm a "high profile" player and a player who is 300 squares away from my nearest city sends an IGM asking for help (in any manner) it seems "unreasonable" for him to expect a reply.

If I settle a town closer to another's cities than anyone else and they try to open the lines of communication with a gift of resources and an IGM then is it "reasonable" for them to expect a "hello neighbor" back?

If you are the contact point for you alliance is it "reasonable" that you will have set up a structure such that you can respond to people who want to contact your alliance.  This need not be as simple as an answer to every IGM but a combination of that with instructions and/or requirements on the alliance page for contacts (RTFM applies here).

If you've contacted a large alliance isn't it "unreasonable" to expect a response within a week?

If I've sent you five (or even two) IGMs asking the same question in the last day isn't it "unreasonable" for me to expect another reply?

I don't understand why it's unreasonable to expect a sitter to reply with some sort of "I'll get back to you in 1 week (or 2 or 1 month, etc...)" sort of delay for "reasonable" communications?

I heard some talk about how "busy" some are.  If a player is too busy to send any sort of response to "reasonable" contact (very limited quantity), then why are they playing a MMO in the first place?

I don't know, I'm still thinking this through.

I do try to respond to almost all mail I receive (and I get a good bit), but sometimes if I get a request for resources from someone I don't even know, I figure the most polite thing is to just ignore their faux pas.

The bottom line is, it's a game.  Worrying about whether someone has or hasn't replied to your mail seems to take some of the fun out of it.

By the way, if you are not in an alliance and your population is not growing, and I send you a "friendly" mail?  It's a REALLY good idea to respond.  Otherwise I may consider you to be a siege target.

Yes, it is a game.  That is both obvious and insightful :)  Part of the game is an IGM (in-game mail) system.  Everyone playing the game has email, but the developers provided a redundant IGM system because it's part of the game.  The developers also made the game fairly wide open so players have a lot of latitude determining what is "right" and what is "wrong".  According to the game created by the devs it is not wrong to siege and completely eliminate a new player.  Try doing that though...

Reading through the H? manifesto of the history of Illy I see that some players feel a lot has gone into establishing "right" and "wrong".  Bravo for them, I think that is what helps to set up genuine conflict, creates the "flavor" of the game and makes the game interesting.  Real wars have indeed been fought over things as trivial as a lack of a response to a greeting.  My question goes to determining the extent of those boundaries with regard to the game.  Saying why worry about the rules for IGM because it's just a game is a lot like saying why worry about the rules for siege because it's just a game.  Both are part of the game.  I'd say a lot more has gone into creating the IGM mechanics than the siege mechanics if that says anything...  People who don't worry about the rules usually don't last long and games that don't last long aren't much fun. :(

Having said all that.  There seems to be somewhat of a consensus that there are no rules for IGM and few boundaries.  Anything is acceptable and expectations are minimal.  It's "might makes right" (as defined by the "code of Illy") and that's an answer of sorts.

I sincerely believe this it the most insightful response to any post on the forums. I hope you don't mind if I use it future responses. 

Why limit oneself to forum responses.  I plan to apply it in game.

Starting with my arch-nemesis, the evil Ryelle.

Kumomoto will thank me.

I'm sorry... you seem bitter...

Illy is played by real people and not all people in real life will respond to letters of any kind.

Imagine buying a house, and then send letters to all the people in the neighbourhood, saying something along the lines of "Hi, I'm new here, wuzzup!?" How many replies would you get?

BTW... would be interesting to do some research in that respect.

You know those little notes people put up when someone hasn't cleaned the community/work kitchen? You know some of the replies written directly on those notes? That's what people are like... some of them.

We play a game, yes. There is the possibility of sending messages, yes. Does that mean that we are all social and socially active while we play? No. We don't.

It is polite to answer, but while we might just nod to the kid who calls out "Wuzzup!" in real life, we just simply ignore those messages here... not that I have gotten any.

Then there is the accidental deleted mail, so if you don't get a reply, send it again... it might have gotten lost in the mail.

About sitters responding... well, I usually don't read other people's mail, so if it is important, then the heading must, repeat MUST, give a clue to the importance of the letter, or I simply will not open it, or send a message about the player being away. After all... would you infor the thieves that you are away for a week, and your neighbour is watching the house? I hope not!

I'm sorry if someone stepped on your toes and didn't reply to your letter... but that's life. As for the community... wel...l we make it into what we want... all of us... even you, and those who never interact with others.