Just a poem
Printed From: Illyriad
Category: Miscellaneous
Forum Name: Fiction
Forum Description: Epics, Sagas, Unlikely Tales of Daring and Rip-roaring stories
URL: http://forum.illyriad.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=11139
Printed Date: 27 Mar 2026 at 02:56
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.03 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Just a poem
Posted By: Othello
Subject: Just a poem
Date Posted: 12 Aug 2024 at 11:16
I never saw the bitter sea,
I'm living in elgea
I don't know what it's like to sail
I don't have an idea.
I wish i could get going
Instead I'm getting old
I never saw the ocean
Just heard what sailors told:
"The bitter sea is azure blue
Just water, wind and sun
A sunset there seems fire like
It's where all dreams begun."
But I am old and can't go there
Good luck, my little friend
When you once see the bitter sea,
sing my song to an end.
That was the first version of my poem, i also wrote a second version, I'm sending it too, because I can't decide, which of them is better:
I never saw the broken lands
I'm living in Elgea
I don't know how the air there feels
I don't have an idea.
I wish I could get going
instead I'm getting old
I never saw the Broken Lands
But settlers have me told:
"The broken lands are full of hope
And full of new ideas
And everyone is free down there
And spitting on elgea."
But I am old and can't go there
Good luck, my little child
When you once see the broken lands,
sing my song to an end.
I'm looking forward to get some feedback, because english isn't my first language and so it's hard for me to know wether I did a good job or not. Thank you!
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Replies:
Posted By: Smopecakes
Date Posted: 17 Aug 2024 at 03:20
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Very peaceful. I think it sets a steady tone and fulfils its themes well
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