Published
in Tor Carrock The Illyriad Free Times. Issue No. 2
An occasional
publication for the edification of our readers throughout Elgea.
As we go to press it is believed that the war between LWO
(reduced) and BSH continues. Details are somewhat obscure but this paper has
been reliably informed that LWO (reduced) do not wish for BSH to continue to
trudge all across Elgea to get them and BSH do not wish to continue to trudge
all across Elgea to get LWO.
Diplomatic sources also suggest that CoK wish to be paid
something by someone for the inconvenience of joining in.
Our War correspondent has doubled his efforts to bring you
the most interesting and informative insights of this conflict.
Down in Lan Larosh he managed to put some questions to the
commanders of two opposing infantry units that had been in conflict with each
other for several days.
They were Commander Isski Faren-Holtograllshi of the Elvish
Seventh Golden Feathered Forest Regiment and Chief Headbasher Grok of the
DeathHead Wargroup.
Our Correspondent: ” Gentlemen, bearing in mind that you
both have now faced each other in conflict and have both seen the dedication
and bravery of your opponents, both far from the lands of your births, do you
not feel a common bond and respect towards worthy opponents?”
Commander Isski Faren-Holtograllshi: “Soldiers throughout
time have pondered on the discomfits of battle and the consequences of their
actions”
Chief Headbasher Grok : “Nah”
Our Correspondent: “Thank you. Following that can you
comment on a war that, although involving many nations, factions and races. In
essence has brought inconvenience and disruption to a far greater number of non
combatants then those involved due to the long range nature of the conflict and
that has also amplified the logistical side of military planning then that is
normally required?”
Chief Headbasher Grok: “Wot?”
Commander Isski Faren-Holtograllshi : “An interesting
question. The physical nature of different conflicts depends to large degree on
the underlying politico-diplomatic stresses, rather then the overall military
position. Therefore, regardless of the specific or quantitive requirements
nesser…”
Our Correspondent: “Err, I’m afraid we have run out of time.
Thank you both and I hope both of you have a good day.”
In the Vale of Lycerna our man was lucky to find an Orc
column as it jogged homeward after a long and successful siege.
Our Correspondent: “Are you pleased to be going home?”
1st Orc
“Who’s going home?”
2nd Orc “ What did he say?”
1st Orc
“Going home”
2nd Orc
“You’re going home?”
3rd Orc
“Me? I’m going to war”
1st Orc “
I think I am”
3rd Orc
“What you thinking?”
4th Orc “
I don’t think”
2nd Orc “
You don’t think your going home?”
4th Orc
“ No. I think I’m following you”
1st Orc
“Don’t interrupt me mate….”
3rd Orc “You talking to me?”
5th Orc
“ Oi, mind where your putting that spear!”
At this point our correspondent couldn’t keep up with them
and the column gradually disappeared into the distance throwing up a large
cloud of dust.
About our War Correspondent.
Yalli Ars-Lightfoot is a High Elf who spent many years as a
Kings Messenger and thus has a detailed knowledge of the lands of Elgea. He
also has that open, friendly, good natured, tactful, understanding yet nosey
and inquisitive manner so important for someone who seeks the real story behind
the headlines. We are pleased to have him on our staff. In further issues we will introduce more of
our specialist correspondents to you.
Update: In our last
edition we reported the comments of a Pikeman from the town of Nafflik while he
was on campaign regarding a nearby dwarven High school for girls. He refused to
give his name to Yalli on that occasion.
Unfortunately by the time he got back home he had been
identified and was met by his wife, her three brothers and his mother-in law.
Pikeman Johhn in now recovering in the Nafflik Military Hospital for Serious
Wounds.
Other News.
Heart of Corruption:
Getting bigger.
Anniversary Tournament:
Now ended.
Trogg trouble again?:
Rumours spread in northern Elgea.
Lost cat found:
Tibbles found on neighbours roof.