I don't spend a lot of time in the forums, so incidentally, I just found this...
Good questions, I'll throw in my two cents.
1) What was the best "help" you received as a new player? "Help" can be advice, information, resources, encouragement, armies sent in your defense ... whatever.
Mostly resources and encouragement. The Mariner was my first contact in GC, and I was invited to join ITG, where he and Warrrg Boss took me under their wings to tease and train

2) What "help" do you wish you had received?
I can't imagine what else the could have done, short of sitting my account and doing it for me. But, when it came time for me to stand on my own two elven legs, that's what I was made to do, and I appreciate that.
3) If you are in a position to help new players, how do you do so, and why do you choose those ways?
I am an officer in ITG, where I write short guides that mostly pertain to being in a training alliance. I also spend a great deal of time in AC answering questions and sending out resources to our members. I also share these guides with SMA where my alt is a member. I also watch GC for Rill's famous "New players sometimes find this guide useful" tag line and go looking for the newb in order to send a care package. I choose this way because I believe it is the best I can do for new players.
4) If you are reluctant to help new players or do not offer specific types of help, why do you feel those types of "help" should be avoided?
Being a training alliance aggression is not tolerated in our members toward other players. When we have new players that haven't gotten their storehouses up to even a level 5, for instance, but are asking for arms and armor, alarms go off. A training alliance is geared toward new players who concentrate on building up their cities and getting research out of the way so when they move out into a more permanent alliance, they will be more able to afford an army and have the knowledge of how to use it. Coming into Illy with guns blazing is a quick way to draw a lot of negative attention.
5) What can newer players do (or not do) to encourage the community to help them specifically and newer players in general?
Don't pop into GC demanding resources, especially if you already belong to an alliance. The magic word goes a long way! Please and a hardy Thank You! is what we all want to hear after sending resources. Be respectful of veteran players and take their advice seriously, if they say 'you don't want to be doing that', you probably don't want to be doing that.