Can I Haz Some Spears? As Told by Ryelle

[02:05]<Ryelle> and so the moral of the story is, my friends

[02:05]<Ryelle> do not try to make an army

[02:05]<Ryelle> unless you can first make a spear

Many thanks to Silent Sword for preserving the chat!

[01:40]<Ryelle> Rexaki, there is a reason we don't arm the newbs

[01:41]<Ryelle> and if you're not careful, I'll tell a story about an unfortunate dwarf

[01:41]<Ryelle> and some spider

[01:41]<Ryelle> spiders*

[01:41]<Phoeni470> NO!

[01:41]<Ryelle> it's OK Pho, I am sure they don't want to hear the story

[01:41]<LukeSky> Beware the trolls

[01:41]<RMY-SgtShankstar> elli!

[01:43]<Rexaki> You guys are prob right I don't need an army this early

[01:44]*Ryelle is a little disappointed no one wanted to hear about the unfortunate dwarf

[01:44]<nazdr3g> unfortunate dwarf?

[01:44]<Talaria Wingfoot> *watches everyone become busy and distracted with a group hugfest, then quietly tiptoes in and raids their warehouses.

[01:44]<Saint4> what race is the best?

[01:44]<Ryelle> indeed naz

[01:44]<Angrim> the one you keep snuggling?

[01:44]<Phoeni470> Ryelle: It's fine. I'll just cover my ears. You can tell the story

[01:44]<Aurordan> Humans

[01:44]<Ryelle> no, Pho, I think they don't want to know

[01:44]<Ryelle> it's probably for the best

[01:44]<Saint4> humans...really?

[01:45]<Aurordan> It's unfortunate for the rest of you, but it's true

[01:45]<nazdr3g> hmm i'm gonna get back to work on my unit costs analysis

[01:45]<Angrim> it's ok, ryelle. we love you anyway.

[01:47]<Ryelle> for example

[01:47]<Rexaki> someone continue yelling at me and tell me not to build my army

[01:47]<Rexaki> i just forget and make more troops

[01:47]<Rexaki> and Imma lose em all when I run out of food and gold soon lol

[01:47]<Angrim> dwarves have 7 stone and 3 iron, apparently. can't quite figure that out.

[01:47]<Ryelle> Rex, if you're not careful I WILL tell you about the unfortunate dwarf

[01:47]<Artaxerxes> sucks to get all vengeful and send one of your vans out to bump back and realize there's only 12 res left

[01:47]<Susan Calvin> We had a discussion on dwarf infantry tactics... Close, diciplined formations aren't very compatible with wildly swinging weapons. Spear blocks seemed more likely.

[01:47]<Rexaki> ok lets hear about the dwarf

[01:48]<Ryelle> anyone else wanna hear about the dwarf?

[01:48]<§ilent Sword> noooo....

[01:48]<Angrim> why is it always the unfortunate dwarf? can't you pick on someone your own size?

[01:48]<§ilent Sword> is he the one with the stalwarts?

[01:48]<Saint4> noo

[01:48]<Susan Calvin> Woot, got Inquisitive Populace. xD

[01:48]<Ryelle> indeed, Silent Sword

[01:48]<Rydge> sure lets hear bout the dwarf

[01:48]<Artaxerxes> what is so unfortunate about this dwarf?

[01:48]<Axneth Ironswift> o.0

[01:48]<Talaria Wingfoot> C'mon already, Ryelle! I've got the campfire blazing and the s'mores fixings ready. Time for a good story.

[01:48]<Ryelle> those pooorrr stalwarts

[01:48]<RMY-SgtShankstar> no Rye.. put it in forums

[01:48]*§ilent Sword covers his ears

[01:49]<Susan Calvin> My citizens read some conspiracy theory book, and are now all paranoid.

[01:49]<Phoeni470> /also covers his ears

[01:49]<crazysteve626> how do u make spells

[01:49]<Ryelle> well, as you all know, when new players ask for spears, or leather armor or chain mail, I always say

[01:49]<Susan Calvin> What poor dward? -Sits all snugly in her bunker-

[01:49]<Ryelle> Don't arm the newbs!!!

[01:49]<Susan Calvin> Kinky. ;D

[01:49]<Ryelle> you might think that's because I'm mean

[01:49]<Ryelle> and don't want the poor newbs to have any fun

[01:50]<Ryelle> but such is not the case

[01:50]<Ryelle> oh no

[01:50]*Phoeni470 nods his head

[01:50]<Ryelle> I say it because of a young dwarf I once knew

[01:50]<Saint4> nobody likes the newbies 

[01:50]<Ryelle> promising new player

[01:50]<crazysteve626> yes it is

[01:50]<Ryelle> intrepid

[01:50]<Rexaki> I know im so bad

[01:50]<Ryelle> bold

[01:50]<Artaxerxes> we love the newbs S4

[01:50]<Ryelle> adventurous

[01:50]<Aurordan> Slightly smelly

[01:50]<Angrim> foolhardy?

[01:50]<Ryelle> perhaps so Angrim

[01:51]<Ryelle> I do not judge

[01:51]<Ryelle> well, the young fellow came into global chat one day

[01:51]<crazysteve626> how do u creat spell thingys

[01:51]<Rexaki> yes

[01:51]<Dinsdale> and he had B.O

[01:51]<Ryelle> I think he had around 100 population at the time

[01:51]*Angrim cringes.

[01:51]<Ryelle> and he said

[01:51]<Ryelle> plz send me spears 4 army

[01:51]<Artaxerxes> a promising player

[01:51]<Dinsdale> can I cuss?

[01:51]<Angrim> oh good, it's not me.

[01:51]<Ryelle> and the vets were generous

[01:51]<Ryelle> because we like new players in Illy!

[01:52]<Dinsdale> and the other newbies were jealous

[01:52]<Artaxerxes> you sure it wasnt "I can haz spears?"

[01:52]<Phoeni470> A great player, with impeccable grammar

[01:52]<Ryelle> the vets were generous and sent him some spears to make an army

[01:52]<Aurordan> You actually sent him spears 4 army?

[01:52]<§ilent Sword> stop interrupting!

[01:52]<Saint4> ha ha

[01:52]<Lashka> Dins there is a Ban Hammer - I wouldn't advise it

[01:52]<Ryelle> dan, this was when I myself was young

[01:52]<Ryelle> and not yet wise

[01:52]<Dinsdale> i'm jking

[01:52]<Artaxerxes> you can haz spears aurordan!

[01:53]<Dinsdale> thorry

[01:53]<CanesRule> erm

[01:53]<Ryelle> because stalwarts used spears in those days

[01:53]<Ryelle> yes, it was a long time ago Canes

[01:53]*Dinsdale gives Ryelle an AARP card

[01:54]<Ryelle> and so the young dwarf made the stalwarts and he sent them into the field

[01:54]<Ryelle> into the plains, it was

[01:54]*Fluffy would like 2 people to join HUGS

[01:54]<Fediglio> of poppies

[01:54]<Ryelle> to face the giant spiders

[01:54]<Artaxerxes> plains? no good for stalwarts

[01:54]<Dinsdale> Gryz and Kojak are available

[01:54]<§ilent Sword> (read halberdiers)

[01:54]<Ryelle> their commander went before them, flags flying

[01:54]<Aurordan> Silly dwarf

[01:54]*Fluffy schemes

[01:54]<Ryelle> and there was much clash of arms

[01:54]<Aurordan> Plains are for humans

[01:54]<Fediglio> tricks are for kids

[01:54]<Ellisande> ooo! a bedtime story!

[01:55]<Ryelle> and then there was silence

[01:55]<Fediglio> cricket

[01:55]<CanesRule> oh what a tangled web we weave

[01:55]<Dinsdale> eep

[01:55]<Ryelle> and at last the villagers went into the field

[01:55]<Rydge> kicks are for trids

[01:55]<Ryelle> to find what had happened

[01:55]<Ryelle> and there they found

[01:55]<Fediglio> ???

[01:55]<Dinsdale> ?

[01:55]<Artaxerxes> ??

[01:55]*Ryelle sobs

[01:55]<Rexaki> ????

[01:56]<Gilgamesh Wulfenbach> ????????????

[01:56]<Fediglio> pause for effect

[01:56]<Ryelle> it is too terrible to describe

[01:56]*Dinsdale hands Ryelle a tissue

[01:56]*Phoeni470 makes a drum-roll

[01:56]<Ryelle> because they did not find the army

[01:56]<GM Luna> I'm on the edge of my seat here.

[01:56]<GM Luna> lol

[01:56]<Saint4> what should i name my city?

[01:56]<Rexaki> wait let me pop some popcorn

[01:56]<Ryelle> nor even a few survivors

[01:56]<Ellisande> (even worse than clay incident)

[01:56]<Fediglio> jelly bean

[01:56]<The_Dude> St. City

[01:56]<Ryelle> indeed they did not even find part of an army

[01:56]<juanfious> hi

[01:56]<Artaxerxes> Kilmer

[01:56]<Talaria Wingfoot> *Melts real butter to pour on Rexaki's popcorn.

[01:56]<Ryelle> to be accurate they found ...

[01:56]<Rexaki> but wait

[01:56]<Ryelle> PARTS of an army

[01:56]<Rexaki> how many troops did they send out

[01:56]<Artaxerxes> or Traydjiak

[01:56]<Ryelle> there was not enough left to identify the bodies ...

[01:57]<Dinsdale> eek!!

[01:57]<Saint4> St city it is... Thanks dude

[01:57]<Rexaki> because that changes the whole story

[01:57]<juanfious> have i see ryelle soobing?

[01:57]<Ryelle> not even

[01:57]<Ryelle> an ear

[01:57]<Fediglio> or a rear

[01:57]<Dinsdale> gasp

[01:57]<Ryelle> for dwarves identify their dead using earprints, you know

[01:57]<Rexaki> or a tear

[01:57]<Ryelle> don't ask me why

[01:57]<Dinsdale> ?

[01:57]<Ryelle> all dwarf ears look the same to me

[01:57]<Fediglio> try bud dry

[01:57]<Rexaki> i eat dwarf ears

[01:57]<Ryelle> but the brave young dwarf was undeterred

[01:57]<Aurordan> (dwarves are silly)

[01:57]<Delkyr> >:P

[01:57]<Ryelle> and he went back to the generous vets

[01:57]<Ryelle> and he asked

[01:57]<Ryelle> 4 mor spears plz

[01:57]<Ellisande> slow learners, those dorfs

[01:57]<Susan Calvin> pets Ry's ears

[01:58]<Fediglio> more resources please

[01:58]<Ryelle> and what do you suppose the vets said?

[01:58]*Dinsdale hugs his teddy

[01:58]<Rexaki> sure

[01:58]<Artaxerxes> u can haz spears?

[01:58]<Fediglio> eat a poop sandwich kikd

[01:58]<Dinsdale> ?

[01:58]<Ryelle> indeed, for the vets are kind and generous

[01:58]<Delkyr> Unsuccessful resource begging 100k pls

[01:58]<Ryelle> if not always wise

[01:58]<CanesRule> spear me the details Rye

[01:58]<Dinsdale> hurrah!

[01:58]<Fediglio> lol

[01:58]<Artaxerxes> lol -cane

[01:58]<Ryelle> the vets gave him some more spears

[01:58]<Rexaki> and using those spears he sent 1000000000000000000 to rexaki............wink

[01:59]<Ryelle> and he made another army

[01:59]<Ryelle> and then ...

[01:59]<Ryelle> no one is sure why it happened

[01:59]<Dinsdale> ?

[01:59]<Dinsdale> what??

[01:59]<Artaxerxes> ?

[01:59]<Ryelle> some say that the spirits of the dead stalwarts were angry

[01:59]<Rexaki> and then he slowly built up to an indetermined amount of trupes

[01:59]*MagusXIX likes storytime.

[01:59]<Rexaki> *troops

[01:59]<Ryelle> others say the giant spiders took their revenge

[01:59]<Rexaki> and attacked the vets

[01:59]<Dinsdale> oh oh..

[01:59]<Ryelle> others say that the young dwarf forgot that he needed gold to pay his army

[01:59]<Dinsdale> doody head

[02:00]<Ryelle> at any rate, while he was sleeping, the young dwarf's army

[02:00]<Lord Cheyenne> I hate waiting!

[02:00]<Ryelle> vanished

[02:00]<Saint4> how addictive is this game?

[02:00]<Aurordan> He seems the sort

[02:00]<Lord Cheyenne> I feel better now

[02:00]<Dinsdale> no....???

[02:00]<Ryelle> completely gone

[02:00]<Artaxerxes> very S$

[02:00]<Ryelle> not a trace

[02:00]<Dinsdale> ack!

[02:00]<Rexaki> I still want spears or food and gold

[02:00]<Ryelle> only one thing

[02:00]<Artaxerxes> s$

[02:00]<Rexaki> but i wont beg

[02:00]<Artaxerxes> S4

[02:00]<Ryelle> was left

[02:00]<Lashka> @Saint somewhere between crack and meth

[02:00]<Rexaki> because of the story

[02:00]<Rexaki> it moved me deeply

[02:00]<Saint4> ha ha lashka

[02:00]<§ilent Sword> §S?

[02:00]<Ryelle> the only thing they left was a note

[02:00]<Rexaki> Im going to go cry myshelf to shleep

[02:00]<Phoeni470> What was on it, Ryelle? 

[02:00]<Dinsdale> a note?

[02:00]<Ryelle> gn 2 snw white 4 suppr, bbl

[02:00]<Rexaki> crysh myshelfs to shleeps

[02:01]<Artaxerxes> S4 is my abrev for saint4

[02:01]<Rexaki> h

[02:01]<Ryelle> that was all

[02:01]<Dinsdale> eep

[02:01]<Ellisande> 

[02:01]<Ryelle> but the young dwarf was not discouraged

[02:01]<Fluffy> holy cow, 200 yards and 5 touchdowns

[02:01]<Dinsdale> no...

[02:01]<Ryelle> he went again to the generous vets

[02:01]<Fediglio> why not

[02:01]*Phoeni470 doesn't have his TARDIS nearby to translate in his head

[02:01]<Ryelle> and asked again for spears

[02:01]<Dinsdale> yesh!

[02:01]<Javier06> Hey everyone! Hate to interupt whatever it is you guys are talking about but can anyone send me spears and swords to build a destructive army? There are some spiders I want to battle.

[02:01]<Ryelle> and what do you suppose the vets said?

[02:01]<Ellisande> i repeat.... slow learners, those dorfs

[02:01]<Dinsdale> boo!!

[02:01]<Artaxerxes> lol javier

[02:01]<Aurordan> Please say you laughed this time

[02:01]<Rexaki> I say someone should send me some resources (spears is what I ment and cuz i like that money and food

[02:02]<Rexaki> gnight ppl

[02:02]<Lashka> @ Ry build your storehouse?

[02:02]<Ryelle> the vets are kind and generous and somewhat slow learners

[02:02]<Ryelle> but they come to wisdom eventually

[02:02]<Dinsdale> we lub vetts

[02:02]<Fediglio> again?

[02:02]<Ellisande> well, yes, them, too!

[02:02]<Ryelle> so they said

[02:02]<Ryelle> NO!!!

[02:02]<Dinsdale> wow!

[02:02]<Ryelle> they said no to the young dwarf

[02:02]<Phoeni470> tans: They are Advanced Resources

[02:02]<Ryelle> and advised him to build a spearmaker

[02:02]<Dinsdale> ah...

[02:03]<Lashka> Then they said make sure to improve your storehouse

[02:03]<Dinsdale> did he?

[02:03]<Phoeni470> What is the moral of the story, Ryelle? 

[02:03]<Lord Cheyenne> Yay! I found a gold mine!

[02:03]*Sa'Belle snuggles Pho and tansi and Rye

[02:03]<Ryelle> and if he had heeded their words, I might not be telling you this story

[02:03]<Sulla2> you vets spoil people

[02:03]<Ryelle> but in fact he did not

[02:03]<Dinsdale> no?...sigh

[02:03]<Ryelle> he became very angry with the vets

[02:03]<Fediglio> such a lovely story it was

[02:03]*Phoeni470 snuggles Sa'Belle 

[02:03]<Ryelle> and he declared that he would SHOW THEM!!!!

[02:03]<Dinsdale> bad newbie

[02:03]<Rodz> Hi all. I am new here so I thought I would pop in and say hello

[02:03]<CanesRule> The moral of the story is "Ask vets for spears and you will get the shaft"

[02:03]<Ryelle> and so he marched off onto the plains by himself

[02:03]<FancyPants> Hi Rodz =)

[02:03]<Ryelle> to confront the spiders

[02:04]<Dinsdale> oh no...

[02:04]<Sulla2> canes, big lol

[02:04]<Artaxerxes> lol canes

[02:04]<Ryelle> and there was a great cry

[02:04]<GM Luna> Welcome to Illy Rodz. 

[02:04]<Dinsdale> eek!

[02:04]<Ryelle> and then there was silence

[02:04]<Artaxerxes> what's hot rodz?

[02:04]<Dinsdale> 

[02:04]<Rodz> Thanks GM Luna

[02:04]<Ryelle> and when his villagers went to the field to find out what happened

[02:04]<Ryelle> they found ...

[02:04]<Dinsdale> ?

[02:04]<Ryelle> nothing

[02:04]<Dinsdale> ?

[02:04]<Sulla2> could someone send me nukes?

[02:04]<Ryelle> not even ...

[02:04]<Artaxerxes> are you telling the story again Ry?

[02:04]<Dinsdale> nothing?

[02:04]<Ryelle> an ear

[02:04]<Dinsdale> OMG

[02:05]<Fediglio> or a rear

[02:05]<Ryelle> and so the moral of the story is, my friends

[02:05]*Dinsdale hugs his teddy

[02:05]<Ryelle> do not try to make an army

[02:05]<Ferana> he was not buried in clay? i am disappointed.

[02:05]<Lord Cheyenne> I have a black hole generator

[02:05]<Ryelle> unless you can first make a spear

[02:05]<Dinsdale> bravo!!!

[02:05]<Fediglio> and armor

[02:05]<Saint4> interesting story ryelle

[02:05]<GM Luna> *claps* @Ryelle

[02:05]<Dinsdale> well played!!

[02:05]<FancyPants> /applauds

[02:05]<Artaxerxes> thanks ryelle

[02:05]<Susan Calvin> Spooky 

[02:05]<Dinsdale> CLAPS

[02:05]<Ryelle> welcome to all new players!

[02:05]*Phoeni470 applauds Ryelle and gives her a snuggle

[02:06]<MagusXIX> Moon! You are first quarter now. ^_^

[02:06]<Angrim> Seems like there should be a bunch of spears around that dolmen somewhere...

[02:06]<§ilent Sword> and there my record of this story ends