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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Granlik Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 May 2013 at 23:52
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Granlik Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2013 at 10:36

In the Nefflink Consulate.   May 2013.

 

Chair:  “Order Order. Meeting will come to order.”

 

The members of the Overseeing Committee gradually sit down at the long table of committee room 2, situated on the second floor of the Consulate. The room extends almost half the length of the eastern side of the building and its six windows overlook a small square where a large group of horsemen and an even larger pack of dogs have assembled. This is Lord Granlik about to depart on a hunting expedition. He hopes to bag another elephant but elephants are quite rare in Tor Carrock until high summer and as its only early May he is expected to return in a foul mood.

 

Chair: “Come along gentlemen, Lots to do today. Item 1, Welcome to new members. On behalf of the committee I would like to welcome the new members. Welcome. Agreed?”

 

Nafflink: “Hold on, who are the new members? They could be anyone from anywhere. I think they should introduce themselves.”

 

Army: “Here here”

 

Nifflink: “He’s right, we should know who they are.”

 

Chair: “Very well. Can the new members please stand and introduce themselves?”

 

A number of people stand up in quick succession and announce themselves.

 

Crafters Guild: “I represent the new crafting operatives.”

Time and Motion Studies: from Lord Granliks Advisory committee

Traders Association: “ Resources trading with various Hubs”

Security Services: “from Lord Granliks Advisory committee”

 

Chief Mage: (aside to Army General) “Oh, that’s why he’s wearing a balaclava over his head”

 

Army General: “I recognise his voice, he’s one of the chairs grandsons”

 

Chair: “Quite please! Continue introducing yourselves please”

 

Sovereignty Territories: “citizens of outlaying estates”

N8fflink: “ May I introduce myself, I am the Mayor of the new town of N8fflink”

 

Diplomatic Corps: “Err, how do you pronounce that?”

 

N8fflink: “N8fflink”

 

Diplomatic Corps: “Could you repeat that please?

 

N8fflink: “N8fflink!”

 

Chair: “Pardon?”

 

N8fflink: “N8FFLINK….”

 

Chair: (after a short embarrassed silence) “Well thank you gentlemen and we can now move on to item 2.  Purchases of Craft items for the Army”

 

Army: Horse unit Commanders are now all equipped but Foot and Bow now need craft Items. We would prefer some urgency.

 

Nafflink: I speak for several members. Can I urge our local craft makers to supply the army rather then buying from one of those specialist alliance groups?  The last one went bust and also with this war going on we don’t want to be accused of taking sides,,,,

 

Diplomatic Corps: The war is over. (Mumbles to himself – where do they pick em?)

 

Nafflink:  Really?

 

Several Members:  Yes, it’s all over!

 

Chair:  Well, that seems to be agreed, Next item is a report from the Broken Lands Evaluation Sub Committee of the Forward Planning Working Party, which is a subsidiary body that has been set up by Lord Granliks Advisory Committee.

 

Chief Mage: Hold on, I can’t see it on the agenda.

 

Chair: No, it’s not on the agenda, it’s an additional item for members information.

 

Chief Mage: So it should be raised under any other business not shoved in before agenda items.

 

Chair: But it is important that members are informed of the position and the Chair of the Broken Lands Sub Committee has come along specially to report to us.

 

Chief Mage: So why can’t he tell us at the end of the meeting under any other business?

 

Nyfflink: Seems reasonable to me….

 

Markets:  Well I’d like to hear him now; most of this stuff is boring and is a waste of time.

 

More members begin to join in either for hearing the report at once or having it at the end of the meeting under any other business, The Chair tries to keep control but it is left to the Army General to bring order by banging his sword hilt on the table.

 

Army General; Members! I understand the chair of the Sub Committee has another meeting to go to so we really only have a short time to receive his report. Please respect the Chair!

 

Chair: Thank you General. I was going to say that Count Shmuck-Poncelby has another engagement and therefore had asked me to take his report early in the meeting. Please welcome Count Shmuck-Poncelby.

 

Count Shmuck-Poncelby:  Thank you members. I have been asked by Lord Granlik to give you a brief outline of the current situation regarding the Broken Lands and how it will affect us here in the Union. We are monitoring how other towns are preparing to invest in the Broken Lands and also what steps various Alliances are taking to develop their influence there once a safe and secure method has been found to transport colonists and establish settlements there. It is apparent that a number of differing strategies will be used by different alliances to expand from the initial sites.

Our Union is of course independent and therefore great care must be exercised before our own settlement is begun. Therefore I am pleased to inform you that we are up to speed in this area. Also we expect to soon receive details of certain areas in the Broken Lands where local conditions are favourable to settle without opposition from the local factions and population. Lastly Lord Granlik has asked me to assure you all that the small increase in Union Expansion Tax – to be formally announced next week – will allow the Union to be in the forefront of development in Broken Lands. Thank you for your time, I can see several hands in the air but I am unable to take questions at this time and I really must be going now.

 

Shmuck-Poncelby rapidly nods to the Chair, grabs his notes and hurries from the room leaving the members in stunned silence

 

Markets: Huh…  no questions and more taxes.

 

Nufflink: Why do I come here?

 

Chair: I understand the increase is only 2% and the Union Expansion Tax is quite small anyway.  Gentlemen, we must proceed!

 

And proceed they do. The meeting is long and tedious but finally they reach the last item.

 

Chair:  Item fifteen. Any Other Business. I have not been notified of any other matter by any member so I think that is the end of the meeting.

 

Brewery and Tavern Association:  Hold On! I passed a note up to you while that Count chap was talking. It’s a very important matter.

 

Chair: I have no note.

 

Chief Mage: He passed it up and I put it in front of you.

 

Chair: I have no note!

 

Chief Mage: Well, Count Shmuckly must have picked it up when he left. It was there between him and you.

 

Chair: Well I can’t be blamed for that. I don’t have it so we can’t discuss it.

 

Chief Mage: I think we should hear what he has to say as he did pass a note up to you.

 

Chair: Sorry, I have made my decision. I don’t have a note so the meeting is closed.

 

Brewery and Tavern Association: We must discuss it! They are taking measurements of all the Taverns! There are rumours they are going to knock all the taverns down, as they don’t produce anything! They want the space for newfangled craft buildings and other secret types that haven’t been announced yet. It’s a conspiracy!

 

Nafflink:  Hah!  They were in my town last week looking at my Tavern. What’s going on?

 

Nofflink:  And mine….. I’m not standing for this!

 

The whole committee is now on its feet and the room is in uproar. The Chair decides he cannot handle the situation and so again declares the meeting is closed. In fact he shouts it but no one hears him and he makes for the door. The two guards outside press themselves against the wall as the members spill out into the corridor.

Later that day Lord Granlik returns from his Hunt. He is in a foul mood as no elephants were sighted. Shortly after his return the events at the Overseeing Committee are reported to him. He becomes incandescent with rage as he had hoped the tavern replacement program would not be noticed and no one goes near him for the rest of the evening.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rill Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2013 at 19:34
Taverns have been shutting down across Elgea ... I blame the temperance movement!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Granlik Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Jun 2013 at 14:20

Midnight in the Cowshed. (Late June)

 

It is midnight in Nafflink and to all appearances the cowshed is dark and silent and just full of sleepy cows. However, at the rear of the building where the Illyriad Free Times is produced a keen ear can just about catch muffled conversation. Within the main office a hurried meeting is underway.

 

 

Editor:  No one must know of this meeting. Are you sure no one saw you coming here?….

 

Murdoch:  Yes. I came round the back along Drovers Alley to make certain.

 

Chedder:  I used to be a scout so I know how to move around without being seen. What’s that smell?

 

Murdoch: What do you think it is? I got here by Drovers Alley in the dark and 100 bloody cows were drove up it 6 hours ago…

 

Editor: Ok, Murdoch, sit over there please. Now have you both read the report right through and brought your copy with you?

 

Chedder: Yes, here it is. I read it three times He’s done a good job

 

Murdoch: I’m afraid my copy is a bit muddy as I dropped it in the alley. I’ll put it on the desk.

 

Editor: NO! Don’t put that on my desk. It stinks like hell; it will have to be got rid of somehow.

 

Voice from back office:  Put it in the bin sir and we will burn it in the morning

 

Editor:  Gods on Fire!!!  Why are you here?  You should be at home!!!!

 

Chedder:  They don’t have a home sir, they live here in the building with the cows.

 

Editor: I don’t believe this…

 

Murdoch: They are also the night security staff sir.

 

Editor: Oh well we had best get on. Now. Paynin’s back from the Broken Lands. You have both read his report so I need to come to a decision about if we run with his story about the journey and what he found there. Lord Granlik doesn’t know Paynin sent a copy to me. He has him in the Castle while he makes up his mind about what to do. Granlik paid for Whitebeard the Pirates ship to be refitted out to go there and I know he had other people of his on the ship apart from Paynin. He may stop us printing the Times if he knows we have Paynins story so I want your opinions as to if we run it in the coming edition.

 

Murdoch: We have enough stuff to do No. 8 without the Broken Land copy and Lord Granlik may stop our grant if he sees us print the report.

 

Chedder:  But everyone is expecting us to print a report if we have one. That’s what we said in the last edition. But Granlik will be furious and could throw us all in jail.

 

Editor; Yes. We will lose face if we don’t print a report if we have one and the Herald will have a field day once the truth comes out. And don’t forget the Herald will carry the official announcement when the BL can be settled. But our readers are waiting for news of the BL…  Oh dear…

 

Murdoch: It’s your decision sir but I don’t think we should risk it.

 

Chedder: He could close the Times sir, he has a very nasty temper when crossed sir.

 

Voices from the back office:  Whatever you decide sir. We will always be here.

 

The Editor sits back in his chair and closes his eyes. He ponders to print or not to print and the possible consequences. The others wait. Suddenly the entrance door opens and a figure steps through into the light.

 

Plink:  Oh, hallo everyone. Why are you all here at this time of night?

 

Editor:  Oh spiders Nob!!!  I don’t believe this!!!  How come you are in town this late?

 

Plink:  I was taking my girlfriend home and saw Mr Chedder creeping through the town so once she was indoors I decided to come here to see if he was working late and needed some help.

 

Murdoch: Mr Chedder used to creep around a lot in his youth.

 

Chedder: Mr Murdoch smells Plink.  Keep away from him.

 

Editor; Stop it you two… Take a seat Plink and answer a question. How’s your uncle Granlik lately?  In a good mood?  Any problems?  Anything I should know about?

 

Plink: I saw him yesterday. He was very pleased about the ship returning from the new lands but he was a bit worried about how all the other lords and the big alliances are going to react when they find out. I think he is going to let King Siguard know and also give him some information so that the King will stop anyone being nasty to him

 

Murdoch: Oh…

 

Chedder:  Ahhh…

 

Editor: Thank you Plink, I feel a bit better now.

 

Plink: Uncle is going to send for you tomorrow, something about official secrets and he knows what you’ve got…

 

Editor:  WHAT???

 

Plink: He will send for both Mr Murdoch and Chedder as well.

 

Chedder: I had a bad feeling about today…

 

Plink: Yes, uncle also wanted to know the names of all the printing staff and where they lived but I told him I didn’t know. He said never mind, there’s no hurry.

 

Editor: This is all a bad dream… 

 

Murdoch: No, it’s a nightmare…

 

Voice from the back office: Column of armed men just pulled up outside Sir….

 

There is a hammering on the door and a shout to Open in the Name of Lord Granlik 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Granlik Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Dec 2013 at 17:38

A discussion in Lord Granliks Withdrawing Room.


Count Muffty: And so My Lord I must conclude my report. It may be that what I've said is somewhat unpalatable to you and I'm aware that my predecessor never went into that much detail but I feel that the truth is always better then a vague outline. Lastly could I once more suggest that you consider the current position of the editor of the Ilyriad Free Times.


Lord Granlik: I must admit Muffty, there is a lot of truth in what you say.


Count Muffty: Well, he's been there for almost six months and since you relaxed the visiting restrictions some days there is a queue of people to see him. And of course since Murdoch and Chedder were released they have been running the Times office as normal and come and see him twice a week.


Granlik: I know that. It's what you say about my reputation throughout the land that worries me. I had to grab those idiots before they published the details on how anyone could get to the Broken Lands before the King agreed to permit official colonies to be established. Almost everyone was pleased when I did it but now you say I am being spoken about as a vindictive, paranoid and vengeful person. But I'm not! Everyone likes me don't they Muffty?


Muffty: Err, yes we do my Lord but some other Lords are still annoyed that we managed to gather information about the Broken Lands before they did and of course our agreement with the pirate Whitebeard still gives us an advantage they don't have. I believe the King still has great respect for you but these rumours could do you great damage,


Plink: Yes Uncle, I was at the Noble Young Bloods Association meeting last week and I had to punch several noses when I heard some small talk about your warped sense of justice.


Granlik: Pah. The problem is that the editor is a stupid but totally honest and incorruptible idiot. I have been down to see him several times to explain why I had to imprison him but he still refuses to accept that I did the correct thing. I realy like the man but am worried that if I let him out he will rush straight to his bloody newspaper and cause me trouble.


Muffty: But will he cause you trouble my Lord? Six months has passed and soon the Kings recent decision will be known to all. I have it on good authority that The Herald is ready to publish the official announcement within weeks. Six months ago a Times publication could have caused riots and mayhem but I don't believe it could do so now. In fact it could raise you reputation amongst the common people and many minor Lords and Alliances.


Plink: People are fed up with all the fighting going on Uncle, new news about the Broken Lands will cheer everyone up.


Muffty: Whitebeard is expected back from the third crossing to Broken Lands sometime soon also. Perhaps the editor could be persuaded that any new edition of the Times would benefit from printing extracts from official reports on conditions on the Broken Lands?


Granlik: Well Muffty, I thank you for your advice on current thinking in the Royal Court, I'm pleased I appointed you, I always had doubts about Bushjunior, apart from always saying Siguard keep a good table he was always on about the advantages of joining this alliance or that one. I shall strongly consider what you have said.


Plink: I'm sorry I just walked in Uncle but I didn't know you had company. I am very pleased to meet you Count Muffty, I would like to visit the Royal Court sometime. The Noble Young Bloods are always gossiping about the Royal Court especially the girls.


Muffty: Ohh.. I thought you were one of Lord Granliks special advisers when you came in.


Granlik; No, he's not a special advisor. He's my favourite nephew who just has a way of barging in on private meetings. He's always doing it and everyone has just got used to it now. I keep telling him to knock before going into a room but he never does.


Plink: So you will think about letting the editor out now Uncle? I do hope so as I really liked being one of his special reporters. I see Murdoch and Chedder once a week down at the works and they would really be pleased if the editor could come back.


Granlik: Ohh by the Hairy God of the Woods. Out! Out! Both of you. Goodnight Count Muffty, thank you for coming and I'll see you at breakfast Plink.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rill Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Dec 2013 at 21:10
Inquiring minds want to know!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Granlik Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Dec 2013 at 12:32

In the Cowshed (Christmas Eve)


As the snow gently drifts down onto the cowshed a figure can be seen hurrying towards the side door above which a large sign proclaims The Illyriad Free Times.

The figure is hunched against the cold air and as it reaches the door it stamps it's feet before pushing at the door which swings open. A hundred yards behind him the two men who have been following both stop, nod to each other and one of them makes a note in a book he is carrying. The figure disappears into the cowshed.


Editor: Ahh.. At least its warm in here, How come the fire is..... Ohhh!

He stops as he becomes aware that the room is full of people. A barrage of noise erupts.


Assembled staff: For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow... and so say all of us!


Murdoch: Welcome back sir! It's been too long and we're all so happy that you are out now.


Chedder: The news of your release has spread everywhere and hundreds of people have called to say how pleased they are. I've heard that even staff on the Herald are pleased.


Plink: Yes, even uncle Granlik was really unhappy about having to keep you locked up for so long and he's sent someone to help the paper check that what we print is correct!


Editor: That will be Special Advisor Ceeia, I know, we have already met. Is he here?


Ceeia: Good afternoon editor.


Editor: Well thank you all, this is most unexpected and I'm really touched. I must sit down however as I've been up since 5 am this morning.


The editor moves to his desk and sits down. Murdoch, his assistant stands by his right hand side and Chedder, chief of staff takes up his position on the left. He looks round the room. He can see the reporters Yalli, Plink and Paynin, several print staff, the legal advisor Evinska , the columnists Krok Bosha and Ardvic, Granliks special advisor Ceeia, who seemed to be taking a great interest in the legal advisor Evinska (the editor makes a mental note of this) the watchman, who really should be outside and a small copy boy who is eating a cheese sandwich. He can also see the door to the back office is ajar.


Editor: Office!


Voice from back office: Sir? Welcome back sir!


Editor: Just checking you are there.


Voice from back office: Always here sir!


Editor: Ok then, lets get started. Paynin, I want you to update your report on the Broken Lands and Ceeia has some stuff that you are unaware of so the two of you fit it in. Yalli will deal with this current war or group of wars or ethnic cleansing or whatever it is that is going on at the moment. Plink, Yalli will tell you where to go or what to cover. Kroc and Ardvic you must have something written already. Chedder, we may need another reporter and I want to see all the letters to the editor sent in during the last six months. I want a draft copy of the next edition on the table within a week. People, Listen up! please note, you may well be followed by somebody from now on but just ignore them. Office! I need a drink.


Voice from back office: On its way Sir!


Ceeia: What do you mean, we may be followed?


Editor: I was followed from my house to here and have been since I was released yesterday.


Murdoch: That's funny, I think I was followed here as well.


Ceeia: Well I know nothing about that, I'd better look into this.


Chedder: That doesn't sound good if you don't know about it.


Plink: Shall I ask Uncle?


Editor: No you will not ask Uncle! Uncle is not to know that we know that this paper is under observation. If Uncle does know that it is happening let him think that we don't know. If he doesn't know and we tell him that we know all hell will break out until he knows who they are.


Several voices: Agreed!


Chedder: What if the Herald comes out before we do?


Editor: I can't see that happening but if it does I'll do an editorial explaining why the official mouthpiece of the establishment had been forced to disclose the Broken Lands situation prematurely and why a free and unfettered press is essential to a civilised society.


Murdoch: I do like your style sir.


Editor: Yes, so do I. Now lets get going people, we have a job to do.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rill Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Dec 2013 at 19:05
It is good to see the staff of the Free Times is once again back on the job.  Give that man a cheese sandwich!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Dec 2013 at 04:19
Thumbs Up  I LOVE THIS STUFF GRANLIK~!
"Um diva.... you are sort of acting like a .... diva...." - PhoenixFire
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Granlik Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jun 2014 at 21:56

Statement from Lord Granlik, Chosen Lord of Lands within Tor Carrock.


It is with deep regret that I must inform you that it has now been confirmed that the editor of the Illyriad Free Times, along with a number of his staff, travelling on the ship The Floating Keg, under the command of Whitebeard the Pirate were shipwrecked on the pamanyallpa reefs last year and are believed drowned.

Production of the Free Times was expected last summer but the editor decided to visit the Broken Lands himself so that he, as I was informed by my young nephew Plink “produce an editorial that does justice to the eternal drive of those who seek out news and knowledge so that others are truthfully informed of that which they previously did not know”

I was unaware of his departure until he was gone as Plink had been sent to investigate a report of a number of four legged chickens on a local farm, which turned out to be false. Plink had pleaded with the editor to be included in the party. I thank the Gods that my nephew is somewhat luck prone.

Unfortunately I never knew the editor's name even though he spent some time as a guest of mine in Nefflink castle. In fact it appears that no one else knew his name as he was always addressed as “Sir” or “Boss” or “Mr Editor” by everyone apart from me. I just addressed him as “You”.

He will be sadly missed along with his organ which was admired throughout the whole of Eagea.

The news of the disaster was reported by the only survivor, the cabin boy Moggly who had been sent aloft to watch out for the reef, which unfortunately he mistook for seaweed. Thus he was thrown over the reef as the ship struck and was captured by natives. After unmentionable sufferings he finally managed to reach a port and saw an Imperial trade ship. He has since vanished and a number of valuable items belonging to the captain of the ship are also missing. 

I also have to announce that the Nefflink cowshed has now fully returned to its original use and the press dismantled. Those old readers of the Times who still tend to congregate outside the premises are strongly advised to stop doing so.

GRANLIK.


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