Plink's Progress.
Printed From: Illyriad
Category: Miscellaneous
Forum Name: Fiction
Forum Description: Epics, Sagas, Unlikely Tales of Daring and Rip-roaring stories
URL: http://forum.illyriad.co.uk/forum_posts.asp?TID=5898
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Topic: Plink's Progress.
Posted By: Granlik
Subject: Plink's Progress.
Date Posted: 15 Oct 2014 at 11:20
In Lord Granlik's
Withdrawing Room.
Lord Granlik; Well, I don't know....
Plink: But you keep saying I should do
something useful Uncle!
Granlik: Getting drowned or stuck like
a pig by savages is not in the least useful, either to you or to me,
my boy.
Plink: But Whitebeard the pirate will
land me at a proper port and I won't be alone over there and I bet
when you were younger you would have jumped at a chance to travel and
explore new lands! And also I was a top reporter for the Illyriad
Free Times, the Editor told you so!
Granlik: Yes I know he did and I wish
he was still with us but I am still a bit doubtful about you
wandering around foreign lands even though you have spent the last
year in the Army Intelligence corps. What do you think Advisor
Purpunk-Nosh?
Purpunk-Nosh: Well my Lord. I have seen
your nephew Plink grow into an engaging young man who feels at home
in all levels of society. He is well-known throughout your domain and
there cannot be anyone who feels that he is not destined for great
things in the fullness of time.
Granlik: Hummm... What do you think
General Gasper?.
Gasper: I think he is ready Sire. With
his recent promotion he now has a Command of his own and the ability
to take decisions, plus a young man's drive to succeed. Also I
understand he has selected a number of experts in various fields to
accompany him. I also think that in agreeing to allow a close
relative of yours to go forth on such a mission will enhance the
reputation of yourself sire, in the eyes of the King and your equals
throughout the land.
Granlik: Ohh, err, you do do you?
Well. If I was younger... Ok young Plink you can go but I warn you,
keep out of trouble, look where you are going and don't annoy anybody
important. You have my Blessings.
Plink: Oh thank you uncle! I promise I
shall send home reports of my journeys in the Broken Lands and not
get into any troubles and look after all the people who are going
with me. I'm so excited and can't wait to tell everyone. Gosh!
Super! Oh, I'm so excited... oh, I've already said that haven't I?
Thanks again Uncle Granlik!
Granlik: Right then, all agreed. You
may all leave now as I have an early start tomorrow as a small herd
of elephants has been sighted east of Nyflink and I haven't bagged
one for several months. Tell the door guards on your way out that I
am not to be disturbed until my bath is run in the morning.
The three visitors bow and make
their way out. Once in the corridor Plink rushes off to tell his
girlfriend Gladriall the good news while the Advisor and Army General
stroll towards the hospitality chamber and a welcome drink.
Advisor Purpunk-Nosh: I must say that went well.
General Gasper: Yes, Lord Granlik bought it completely. Thank the
Gods that that idiot Plink will be gone soon. He has been a walking
disaster for the Corps! We lost a whole company marching off a cliff
because he assumed they would stop when ordered to turn left instead
of right.
Advisor Purpunk-Nosh: I shall sleep well tonight. I remember the
Editor of the Times telling me he always made certain that Plink was
sent to a remote location, with the minimum information about a
story, and that he always hoped Plink would get lost as he has no
sense of direction.
General Gasper: So he's off to Broken Lands! They don't know what's
going to hit them! Ahh, here we are. Scotch?
|
Replies:
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 24 Oct 2014 at 15:30
A Slight Misunderstanding.
Lord Granlik strides to the
window again. The noise from the Nefflink courtyard below is
deafening and it has been going since daybreak and it is now late
afternoon. He looks down on a group of wagons surrounded by pheasants
who are loading some of them with supplies while others are being
unloaded at the same time. One wagon is being loaded on one side and
unloaded on the other while a fight has broken out between some of
the waggoner's and merchants near the horse lines upsetting the
creatures and causing the guards difficulty in separating the
contestants. Granlik frowns and then turns as the door to his viewing
room suddenly opens and a number of people come in.
Granlik: What in the King's name is
going on down there? Is anyone in charge? Master Woolgar, please
explain why that caravan is still here when it should have gone three
hours ago?
Yard Master Woolgar: I must apologise
my Lord but there seems to have been a slight misunderstanding.
Granlik: Misunderstanding? It's a
caravan going to the port of Hanlif for my nephews expedition to the
Broken Lands. Caravans leave here every week on the dot with no
misunderstandings. Why is this particular one different?
The three newcomers look at each
other uncomfortably and shuffle around. Granlik looks at them all and
waits for an answer. They still look at each other and avoid his
gaze. Granlik points at his Minister of Supply, Figgy.
Granlik: Speak!
Figgy: Err, Sire, err, it appears your
nephew Plink has caused some confusion with the supplies he requires
for the expedition. I had been contacted by the Merchants Guild of
space required for a caravan leaving today for the south and so
freed the yard. A messenger arrived yesterday from Hanlif sent by
your nephew Plink to his girlfriend Gladriall
who lives in Nufflink. Luckily she told Councillor Hashnesses
daughter of some of its contents this morning and she, the daughter,
told Councillor Hashness over lunch which caused him ride quickly to
see me in Nafflink as soon as possible and then we both rode swiftly
over here to Nefflink to see the Yard Master.
Granlik: I might have known.... Plink!
Figgy remains silent but knows
that Granlik will want to know what Plink has done.
Granlik: And?
Councillor Hashness: Well my Lord it seems that before he left last
week for Hanlif he arranged for supplies to follow later and
contacted various merchants and suppliers and wagon masters to
undertake this. But his letter to Gladriall says that General
Gasper, who you sent with him and give advice during his journeys has
already arranged all the provisions for the voyage and everything is
at the port already and they expect to sail in a few days.
Woolgar: So when the Minister and Councillor arrived here two hours
ago I ordered the caravan to be disbanded but unfortunately I did not
dare to give the specific reason for my order and there is now a bit
of a problem as a number of suppliers are demanding payment and
others have questioned my authority and claim your nephew ordered
their involvement with your authority my Lord. There are other
independent merchants who have paid to join the caravan and now want
compensation for loss of trade and also a number of travellers who
were going to follow it as far as south Arran now want to sue
somebody.
Granlik: Gods! I told him that Gasper would arrange everything apart
from him picking the few personal advisers that he wanted to
accompany him to the new world. All he did was to look at the list of
people he had picked to go with him and worry that they could change
their minds and what clothes he should take along. He thought of
nothing else. In the end I said he was responsible for his own
arrangements and told him to get on with it. He must have forgotten
what I said about Gasper!
Figgy: There is another problem Sire. One of King Siguard's survey
teams that are collecting information throughout the land on Good
Governance within a Feudal System and the Implementation of Civic
Order have been seen passing N8fflink on the way here and are
expected within a few hours.
The noise from the courtyard
below suddenly increases in intensity and everyone rushes to the
window. Below a column of Spear men has just formed up by the inner
gate and the court guards are trying to grab merchants, suppliers and
anyone who seems to be protesting while the peasants had by now all
retreated behind the wagons of which a number had been turned over.
They, and a number of merchants who had evaded the guards begin to
throw potatoes at the troops. The officer in charge of the spear men
is looking up at the window.
Yard Master Woolgar: I ordered for yard support just before we came
up here Sire.
Granlik: Good man Woolgar... Stop it first and sort it later...
Granlik leans out of the window
and the noise subsides and some 500 pairs of eyes look up at him.
Granlik: I WILL SAY THIS ONCE ONLY. THOSE WHO WISH TO COMPLAIN
ABOUT ANYTHING WILL FORM AN ORDELY QUEUE BY THE YARD MASTERS OFFICE
ALL OTHERS WILL GO HOME NOW AND NO ONE WILL TAKE ANYTHING THAT DOES
NOT BELONG TO THEM. I SHALL LOOK OUT AGAIN IN THREE MINUTES TIME AND
THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT I WANT TO SEE WILL BE IN THE QUEUE.
He turns to the three men who
stand perfectly still and look at him with expressionless faces.
Granlik: Woolgar, you will explain to the queue that a terrible
mistake was made by a minor official who has since been transferred
to the wolf pits.
Figgy, you will see the Court Treasurer and insure that all demands
from the Yard Masters office are met promptly. You will then meet
King Siguards team and insure they are given all hospitality.
Hashness, you will make certain not a word of this gets out under
threat of death as I don't want this on the front page of the Herald
and be made a laughing stock due to my nephews forgetfulness. Right,
get on with it please!
The trio file out shutting the
door quietly. Granlik sits down in a chair and gazes at a picture on
the wall showing him in pursuit of a herd of elephants. He sighs and
takes a long gulp from the flask of mulled wine on the side table and
then gets up and leans out of the window again. The only people in
the courtyard are guards and an orderly queue of people by the Yard
Masters office, a large number of whom are looking nervously up at
him. He sighs again and returns to his chair and mulled wine.
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 04 Nov 2014 at 14:26
Final Thoughts.
The chat gradually died and they sat
in silence around the table in the shanty house. He was late again
but that was normal. They all waited and while they did so they all
thought about the journey ahead and what they would find. Each had a
different reason why they were there and each had a different
internal voice whispering thoughts to them.
General Gasper of the Intelligence
Corps still had a vague hope that something would happen to halt the
expedition. Ordered by Lord Granlik to watch over his favourite
nephew he would do his duty, but always hoped. On the way to the port
of Hanlif he had prayed that another vast continental war had broken
out and that they would be recalled back to Nefflick but peace still
reigned everywhere in the land. He had kept a keen watch on the sea
weather reports but no incoming ships had had any problems crossing
the Bitter Sea, in fact the consensus was that it had never been so
calm. Gasper was despondent.
Next to him Sargent Griffin just looked
straight ahead. Griffin was a professional solder and had served his
time in the town militia, infantry, cavalry, siege division, palace
guard and now was in charge of the six scouts assigned to the
expedition. He was a hard man and everybody knew it.
Kroc Bosha was a chef. He had been the
food correspondent for the Illyriad Free Times and since its
unfortunate demise had struggled to find a job in Tor Carrock. But
luckily for him he had sometimes cooked breakfast in the Times office
and young Plink quite liked his egg and crushed meat bits so he had
asked him to join the expedition as cook. Kroc had said yes straight
away. He was also an Orc so took up two places on the bench. He was
wondering if there were eggs in the Broken Lands.
Whitebeard the Pirate was worried. The
last time he had had any dealings with people from Granlik's towns
his ship had been lost along with all the passengers and crew apart
from his cabin boy Moggly, who was now somewhere in the Broken Lands.
The passengers had been something to do with a popular paper but he
hadn't really got to know them as he had been struck down with a bout
of crotchy mites just before sailing so his second-in-command,
Dreadlocks Joe had been in charge of his pirate ship and had sunk it.
Whitebeard had just managed to to buy another ship named Shrimp
(second-hand) but needed some ready cash to pay his new crew and so
had reluctantly accepted this contract. Once he gets them to
RoyalPort he will hoist the Jolly Roger and be off pirating again.
Ardvic Grunderfutt was another of the
Times correspondents and had ran the arts and poetry section. He
should have gone with the Editor on the ill fated voyage but thinking
he had enough time to board he had drawn a superb sketch of a ship
leaving harbour only to find out that he had in fact sketched the
Floating Keg as it left for the Broken Lands. Ardvic, being a
sensitive Glade elf suffered a terrible mental breakdown and has lost
his sensitive touch since then and dreams of finding his soul again
in the unknown lands.
Mage Banpop until recently was working
in the Mage Tower in Nifflink. He is a dwarf of Clan Bealagh of Tor
Carrock. Banpop is an avid proponent of Interactive Magic and thus is
extremely excited in studying different forms of magic in the new
land. He is hoping to visit as many Hubs as possible. He has
volunteered for the trip and can't wait to sail.
Kalnut Tonk is a man with a mission. He
thinks of himself as a revolutionary or a visionary and then
occasionally as an idiot. He was a childhood friend of Plink and had
asked him if he could come along. Plink had said “Super!” and
that was that. Kalnut had lead a normal life until he read edition 7
of the Illyriad Free Times and promptly joined the Society of
Scientific Investigators. He is now a committed“Sosie” dedicated
to destroying the Magical beliefs that rules the world and hopes to
help create a new civilisation where “Science” brings
advancement, peace and love to everyone.
And so they sit in silence. The orc
and dwarf begin to drift into a deep sleep. Kroc begins to lean
forward onto the table and a snuddering snore is heard. Sargent
Griffin looks at General Gasper who gives a slight nod.
Griffins arm shoots out and he
pinches Krocs nose hard and withdraws it in a flash. Kroc wakes with
a yelp and jumps up, banging the table. This causes everyone to stand
up. At the same time the door swings open and Plink enters the room
with a broad smile on his face.
Plink: Hallo
everyone, sorry I'm late and you shouldn't all have been standing
around waiting for me, you could have all sat down. Super! Well we
can go now as the boat that was blocking our one has moved so they
just have to find Captain Whitebread and we're off!
Whitebeard: Arr me
beauty, It's Whitebeard, not Whitebread and I be here as you told me
to be.
Plink: Oh, I
thought I told you to go to the boat and I would join the others
after you were told we can go once the other boat moves.
Whitebeard: Oh no
me beauty! No! You said to join the others.... Arr, and they don't
be called boats I keep telling you laddy, they be ships. Arr, let me
out of here...
Whitebeard rushes out of the room.
Plink: Ok, Great,
Right, Whitebread has now gone to the ship so we can follow him and
go now so everyone follow me, Great!
General Gasper:
Captain Plink! We have been waiting here for over two hours and now
you just stroll in and tell us that we can go now. Where have you
been?
Plink: I've been
writing a letter to Gladriall my
girlfriend saying that we are going now and then went to find
a messenger at the messenger office to take it but they were all out
on missions so I didn't know what to do but then I found one of our
scouts just about to board the ship with his horse and so I sent him.
Sargent Griffin:
Sir! You have sent one of my six scouts back to Nefflink Sir?
Plink: Yes, I
promised her I would send a letter just before we go. Isn't it
exciting!
Griffin: SIR! Do
you realis...
Gasper: That will
be all Sargent...
Griffin: Sir!
Banpop: Oh, I'm
far too excited. I must do a quick spell of self depression. (he
waves his arms around. Ardvic gets a splitting headache)
Kroc: Does anyone
want something to eat before we go?
Plink: Super!
That's a great idea Krocy. Have you got any eggs to do a quick fry?
Gasper: I think we
should go NOW. Captain Whitebeard does NOT wait around for anybody!
So they all rush out of the shanty
house and see the Shrimp with all sails set beginning to draw away
from the jetty. Whitebeard can be see shouting orders and waving his
arms about. The remaining five scouts can also be seen looking
anxiously for the rest of their party.
Lead by Gasper they all manage to
board the ship apart from Ardvic who goes back to the shanty for his
sketchbook which he had left on the table. General Gasper and Sargent
Griffin manage to persuade captain Whitebeard to send the jolly boat
back to pick him up. Plink shouts “ Super!” as the little elf is
pulled on board and the Shrimp turns southwards and to distant
Puchuallpa.
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 21 Nov 2014 at 00:02
Sea Legs.
Captain Whitebeard scanned the
southern horizon searching for a break in the dark banks of clouds.
There were none. The swell was rising and the driving rain that
always fell along the jump line was only a few miles away. The Shrimp
was approaching the Maelstroms, the band of violent circular winds
that divided the bitter sea into its north and south sections.
Whitebeard was an old hand at “jumping the line” the crucial
dropping and raising of the sails while swinging the rapidly moving
ship 180 degrees round to face the opposite direction, He glanced
back at the line of passengers leaning over the side emptying their
empty stomachs again. It was odd he thought how young Plink, Kroc the
orc and Sargent Griffin were unaffected by the sea and all the others
were spending the whole voyage being sick.
It was time to start giving
orders to prepare the ship, his new crew and the passengers for the
ordeal ahead.
Whitebeard: Arr me beauties, drop the jib an raise the tops, Arr!
Rope the horses tight an secure the deck lines.
Plink: I say, this is Super! I do like sailing!
Whitebeard:
Arr! Grab hold them cables you slimy dogs... I said secure those
lines now!
Plink: It seems to be getting windier, Great! Are you enjoying this
Krocy?
Kroc: I'm getting a bit peckish. I may go and make a sandwich.
Whitebeard: Arr! All passengers below! All hands stand to ready!
Stand firm me beauties, Arr!
Plink: Wow! We are going fast now! And why is the ship being blown
that way?
Whitebeard: It be the winds along the line me young sir. The sea
currents go opposite ways on the line. You best get below now. Arr!
Here comes the rain! READY TO DROP SAILS ME BEAUTIES!!!!
Crew: ARR CAP'N!
Whitebeard: DROP!!
Crew: SAILS DOWN!!
Plink: Oh my!.
Whitebeard: HELM A'LEE THE WHEEL! SWING YOU BUGGERS!!
Crew: ARR!!
Kroc: I've done some cheese and pickle.
Whitebeard: UP SAILS!!
Crew: SAILS UP CAP'N!!
Plink: Great! Cheese and pickle. Oh, were going in the other
directions now. How odd.
Whitebeard: Arr, that be a goodly jump me lads.. STEER ON THE
SOUTHERN LINE, WHEEL! Arr!. Open a keg of grog an all hands grab his
cup.
And so the “jump” is done and
the Shrimp sets south again towards the Broken Lands. On checking the
ship over Whitebeard finds that he has lost three crew and the jolly
boat. Sargent Griffin who had in fact carried the line of sick
passengers down from the side rail to the cabins starting with
General Gasper, had been furious when on going back for his fifth
remaining scout had found that he had been blown overboard and so he
swore long and loud, causing some nearby crew to blush. Later, down
in the cabin they talked about the experience.
Ardvic: I don't remember anything and I still feel sick.
Banpop: I need the bucket again.
Plink: It was great and the wind was super. Sailing is fab and fun
and its a pity that -
Tonk: Oh please shut up Plinky, I don;t feel well and give me that
bucket....
General Gasper: Sargent Griffin! You should have brought scout
Hassish down before the others. You knew he was the best one we had
and could speak some of those BL native tongues.
Griffin: Sir! They were all in a row and leaning over the side and I
couldn't tell one from the other and the rain was coming down like
kippers and I had to work fast, Sir!
Gasper: We haven't even got there yet and we've lost two scouts
already....
Plink: I could do a bit of scouting General. I was a top reporter
once and had to find my way around lots of places.
Kroc: Anyone want some cold jelly fish soup with runny fried eggs?
Many Voices: Yeegh.................
Plink: Oh goody, I'll have a bowl thank you.
Whitebeard: (poking his head down the hatch) Arr me beauties,
another strong blow be on the way so I'll send another bucket down.
And so the Shrimp continues on
its way to the Puchuallpa coast and RoyalPort, one of the largest
entry points into the eastern parts of the Brocken Lands. What
adventures await the companions? Will Plink find excitement in the
new land and Ardvic his soul again? Will Banpop discover new forms of
magic from the strange Hubs that lie within their path? And will
Sargent Griffin manage to keep his remaining four scouts? What of
Lord Granliks secret orders to General Gasper? And will Kroc find a
sufficent supply of eggs to keep the party happy? All these questions
will be answered (or in some cases may remain a mystery) as the
months unfold.
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 05 Dec 2014 at 20:52
Plink 5. Decisions.
RoyalPort was one of the major
ports for the majority of Elgea settlers heading for the eastern side
of the new continent and as such and it took some time to find an inn
prepared to take in all the party but eventually one was found
alongside one of the large open sewers that served the seeder side of
town. Captain Whitebeard had wished the party farewell they
disembarked from the Shrimp.
Whitebeard: Arr me beauties tis time
for parting an the sea calls me back like a large lady in a tiny tub
for a rub! May the Gods be with ye as you stumble in the jungle!
Plink: Oh its so exciting now were
here. Three cheers for captain Whitebread and his crew!
Whitebeard: Arr, it be Whitebeard ye
young scamper an I keeps telling ye.
General Gasper: Right, we best be off
to find lodgings and we bid you well captain in your chosen
profession. Stay clear of navy ships and violent storms.
Whitebeard: Arr General, I'll do that
and if ye ever get home my compliments to Lord Granlik.
General Gasper spent the first
few days getting supplies while Sargent Griffin, the scouts, Kroc,
Tonk and Ardvic spent the same time getting drunk. Banpop shot of to
visit a number of local Mage Towers. and the area Hub while Plink on
the other hand wandered around the town drinking in the sights. He
also began to take notes as he felt that he was still a reporter
although his old paper was long dead.
He was fascinated by the
ramshackle buildings of various styles and also the many differing
races all mixed together trying to make a decent living. A
substantial proportion made an indecent living as well but more of
that later. Also he toured the extraordinary variety of shops that
had sprung up to cater for the constant flow of immigrants passing
through the ever growing city.
Every week large caravans were
assembled and headed north into the interior, some of these were
purely made up of new settlers from the major Elgea alliances like
Asier, Invitus and Infamy and these were protected by their alliance
troops. Others were a jumble of settlers from a mixture of smaller
alliances with just minimal protection against the many native tribes
whose area they would pass through.
After a week Gasper decided that
it was time to gather the party together and inform them of their
next step. He was the de facto Leader of the party and in fact had an
agreed set of orders given to him by Lord Granlik back in Nefflink.
He had to meet some people at different locations and also find out
what some other specific alliances were up to. He also had to gather
information about the political complexities that existed between
the east and west and north and south nations that lived in Broken
Lands and at the same time investigate the comparative strengths of
the internal factions.
As an afterthought Granlik had
mentioned that the distribution of elephants (if any) was of interest
to him and could the General keep an eye out for them? Gasper
sometimes wished he had never joined the army.
Gasper: Attention! Right, It's time to
start out on our explorations. As you know settlers from our lands
back home have established many new towns so I think it best that we
do not stray to far away from such locations. I have obtained a
number of local maps which will allow us to update such information
that our Diplomatic Service back home has provided us with.
Furthermore I can inf.....
Plink: I think it would be great if we
could go to the Pirate Isles. Its a pity that captain Whitebread
isn't with us any more, he would be a great help there.
Gasper: Yes captain Plink, Your uncle
has plans for... I mean Lord Granlik knows of your wish to go there
so we will do so after we visit a number of other places first.
Furthermore I can...
Banpop: What do you mean by plans? I
thought Mr Plink was in charge and that we go where he wants to go. I
thought you and the soldiers were just to protect him. I think we
should concentrate on the Hubs to increase our knowledge of how magic
is used over here. I think...
Gasper: I'm in charge of this party so
as to make certain that nothing happens to captain Plink who is quite
happy that I plan ahead and also Lord Granlik wishes that captain
Plink should be able broaden his experiences with no problems of
command and to be able to do as he wishes.
Tonk: I joined to help Plinky cos I
thought he was in charge and we could discover new things here and I
want to collect any strange stuff that I find and I'm going to. I'm
not in anybody's army!
Gasper: I'm afraid you are all under my
command and if I order you to do anything you will do it. Is that
understood?
Sargent Griffin and the four remaining
scouts: SIR! YES SIR!
Kroc: I've got some flatfish on the
fire if anybody wants some.
Plink: Oh Super! I am a bit peckish and
I'm quite happy the General is in charge, Great!
Gasper: Right then, as I was saying we
will leave tomorrow morning and move south-east into mainly unsettled
Puchuallpa territory until we reach this point (taps map on the
table very quickly so that no one sees where he has tapped) and
then turn north towards Pawanalla and the area dominated by the
Asier. After that we will head for the High Hills region and...
Ardvic: High Hills. Such a romantic
name... It gives me shivers to say it, what mystery await us there...
Kroc: The sauce is crushed pig eyeballs
and pulped crow livers.
As Krocs cooking was better then
the Inns fare they all tuck in. Where he obtained it from was a
mystery but no one ever asked him. After the meal Gasper says that
they had all better get a good nights rest as he wants to start
loading the pack horses and wagons at dawn. Everyone agrees and they
all rise from the table to go to their straw bunks when the door
opens and a familiar voice breaks the silence.
Captain Whitebeard: Arr me goodly mates
tis me yer old friendly sea dog! I'll be asking a favour of ye all,
me beauties.
Plink: Oh, its captain Whitebread!
Super!
Gasper: And to what do we owe the
pleasure of this unexpected appearance?
Whitbeard: Arr, Well me hearties I have
had me ship impounded by some dastardly official who maintains I owe
monies to various ports all over the place an me scummy crew has gone
over the side seeing the marines come aboard an also cos I was a bit
short on the coins to give them. Arr, tis a poor old sea dog that has
nowhere to go in a foreign land an knows no body but his trusted
companions of a recent voyage. Arr!
Gasper: So?
Whitebeard: An I be thinking you could
use an experienced man of the world on yer travels as you will
needing to bargain an to know how to fight an to tied proper knots an
to sail on water sometimes an to stow stuff properly an if you run
out of food how to pick a crew member to...
Gasper: That's enough captain as we are
leaving first thing in the morning.
Griffin: We do have two spare horses
Sir as we are down two scouts already.
Kroc: And we could run out of food...
Plink: I think its super captain
Whitebread can join us. I'm sure my uncle Granlik would say yes if he
was here.
Ardvic: The more the merrier I say!
Gasper: Gods help me... Very well, you
are accepted into the party, captain. Welcome aboard...
And so in the morning the Plink
Expedition departs into The Broken Lands. Later that day a file of
marines call at the Inn looking for Whitebeard. Even later the recent
crew of his impounded ship make polite enquiries as to where the
captain may have gone?
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 30 Dec 2014 at 18:41
Travelling
The party travelled eastwards and soon
the clamour of RoyalPort was far behind them and the Puchuallpa
jungle swallowed them up. The General was somewhat surprised by the
amount of baggage that accompanied them. He had made certain that
they had sufficient supplies for several weeks as he was uncertain of
what lay ahead before they reached the buildings that Lord Granlik
had marked on the rough map that he had given him. How Granlik had
obtained such knowledge he had no idea but during his years of
service all sorts of odd people had been recruited as Special
Advisers by the Lord so he had stopped bothering about Granliks
motives. Gasper just followed orders.
It seemed everyone was collecting stuff
and they had only just started. Plink agreed with anyone who wanted
their own transport and Whitebeard had somehow managed to obtain two
large wagons both of which were covered and no one was allowed to see
what was in them. Plink had got a local cart for any souvenirs he
might collect along the way and both the Mage and Tonk had already
collected stuff stored in some large boxes and sacks and Plink had
insisted that they get a cart to carry them. Kroc, as cook, had found
a old Tuck Wagon which got the full support of Sargent Griffin and
his scouts. It was very large and bulky and resembled a mobile fort
with a team of four oxen pulling it. In the end a further wagon was
needed to carry fodder for all the horses and pack animals.
They journeyed through monsoon jungle
and wet jungle and dense jungle all filled with animal noise and
hungry insects but no people or towns The scouts scouted as best they
could but after two of them got lost and took five days to find the
party again Gasper forbid anyone wandering off. Gasper had the only
compass and refused to give it to anyone in case they disappeared.
Kroc wanted fresh supplies but had to use what they had brought with
them all the time and they began to run down. Then, after three weeks
they hit a partly formed road and followed it only to discover an
abandoned town of the ABSA alliance. It was called Moustaki and here
they were found by a patrol from Sundre, owned by Gregorokin, head of
the alliance. In Sundre they were welcomed, fed and
informed that plaque had broken out in
the port Landingstown and given advice about avoiding the warlike
tribes further to the east near the hub Yuraquncha. Gasper checked
his map and found the hidden temple he was heading for was only 13
squares from it. Was this unlucky he thought?
They eventually arrived during a deluge
to find a company of Orcs waiting for them. Gasper ordered that
they pitch camp and while the tents and wagons were made fast he,
Griffin and Plink approached the orcs waving a Nefflink flag. A large
orc stepped forward waving a stick with what looked like a shrunken
head fixed to the top.
General Gasper: Granlik!
Large Orc: GRRNISS!
Plink: What did he say?
Gasper: Please be quite while I talk
to him...
Large Orc: NASSH? POOMONG? GRRNISK!
Gasper: Granlik! Granlik!
Plink: Ohh, he's saying uncle's
name. This is so exciting...
Large Orc: AGGGGY! NYY BOM GRRANIK?
WAGGH BASHY!
The orc company take a step
forward and start to sway side to side,
Gasper: Sargent
Griffin, please escort Captain Plink back to the camp, now!
Sargent
Griffin: SIR!
Plink is dragged back to the camp
by Griffin watched by everyone except General Griffin who keeps a
firm eye to eye contact with the large orc,
Gasper:
Granlik! Granlik! Grraanlik!
Large Orc:
GRRANIKK! UNG!!! GRANLIK! PARSHGINN...
Gasper: Thank
Gods! Passing, (he produces a bottle from his bag and gives it to
the large orc)
Large Orc:
PARSHGINN. (he produces a small bag from behind his back and gives it
to Gasper)
The orcs disappear
into the jungle and Gasper returns to the camp. No one says anything
about the meeting. Gasper had already explained that there were going
to be unexpected meetings with funny people at various times during
the expedition and no one is to question what is going on. Plink
recovers his normal cheerfulness during dinner (boiled coral snake
with fried tarantulas) Kroc has by now established a working
relationship with the scouts who bring back anything they can kill.
The next day
Gasper announces that they will now head towards the Pirate Isles
passing through Pawanappla and the area controlled by the Aesir
alliance and then into High Hills. Banpop who had quickly visited the
nearby Zaqcha hub did not welcome the news of passing through Aesir
territory. During his
apprenticeship he had inadvertently caused all the saddle grips of a
column of horse to dissolve by scratching his nose while watching a
parade in front of one of the top brass, Delicious Josh.
And so the Plink
experdition again set off into the pouring rain. Three days later a
bunch of ragged, dirty, foulsmelling but determined seadogs found the
campsite and a large orc asleep in a nearby hidden temple.
to be continued....
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 18 Jan 2015 at 19:18
Moving South.
They spent weeks hacking a path
through the damp, sticky, insect ridden jungles and forests of
Puchuallpa. Towns were few and far between and the local villages
were sometimes hostile and many detours had to be made. It was
difficult catching anything and many a time Kroc the cook had to rely
on leaf mash and insect stew to fill stomachs.
Attempts by BanPop the Mage to
either capture or produce something edible were banned as the results
of him casting a spell caused headaches, back pains and loss of
balance to some of his companions. Banpop blamed the influence of
the regional Hubs nullifying his Elgea based magic.
They were relieved when a range of
mountains came into view. However the scouts who had gone ahead
returned with troubling news.
Scout One:
Err, there's a problem Sir. We can't find a path through and they all
seem to be volcanic and there's a funny smell everywhere and it gets
in your throat.
General Gasper:
What? Volcanic? Can't find a path? Rubbish.
Scout Two:
He's right Sir, We fer fer followed three valleys but they ended in
cur cur cliffs and there wer wer wer was smoke and rocks falling dur
down on us so so we cur cur came back.
Gasper: What?
Nonsense. Sargent Griffin, take another patrol and go and find a
path for us.
Griffin: SIR!
Plink: No,
their right. All the mountains are volcanoes and it's very dangerous
and there are earthquakes and poisonous gasses and burning rocks and
rivers of fire all over the place.
Ardvik: Yes, we
were told about it.
Gasper: WHAT?
Told about it? When were you told about it, who told you?
Plink: Ohh, it
was at that last village we stayed at. We were talking to the priest
and he said they never went near the mountains and you needed a guide
if you wanted to go through them.
Ardvik: Yes,
that's what he said.
Gasper: Elf's
Ears! Why didn't you say something?
Kroc: I was
told there were rock lizards in the mountains and they make a very
good stew
Captain
Whitebeard: Arr! I could do with a good stew now matey!
Banpop: The
smell is sulphur and comes from hot rocks which we use in the Mage
towers.
Plink: Ohh, I
thought you knew about the mountains from your map General,
Gasper: Stop!
Stop! Stop talking! Gods.... We must get a guide somehow. Sargent
Griffin! Go back to the village and get a local guide that knows a
path through the volcanoes. Blast, Granlik never mentioned volcanoes
and this map dousn't show them.
Scout Two: The
sargents ger ger gone Sir to fer fer find a per path, as you said.
Gasper:
NOOOOO! This is not happening.... I must think,,, Ok, (pointing
to scout one) you get after the
Sargent now and bring him back. You! (pointing to scout
two) go back to the village and
get a guide. (he then remembers this scouts stammer)
NO! You stay here! , err...
Whitebeard:
Arr! Tis a job for an old sea dog I be thinking, ye be leaving it to
me captain, Arr!
Gasper: The
rank is General, Captain but thank you. Please be quick.
Plink: Isn't
this exciting, we're going to see volcanoes. Great! Super!
There was a
weeks delay but Plink saw his volcanoes and Ardvik filled several
pages of his sketchbook as a local guide led them through the range
into Pawanappla. They now could move quickly over the desert plains
and made good time as they moved southwards. At night they tended to
camp near a mausoleum, monastery, pyramid or on occasions a sphinx of
which the region seemed to have an excessive number. Unlike the
jungle here they were also able to see a wide variety of animals many
of which were new to the party. Rinosurus, pumas, fire salamanders,
giant snakes, lions and to Plinks delight herds of elephants.
Plink had often
gone hunting elephants with his uncle, Lord Granlik back in Tot
Carrot and kept asking if he could catch one but Gasper forbid any
such attempt. Gasper did however include the presence of elephants in
his journal as Granlik had asked him to do so.
Later the
expedition entereda more populated part of the region which had
bbeen colonisedf the senior and warlike alliances from elgea, the
Aesir. They were soon spotted and a column of Calvary intercepted
them. Gasper was surprised to find out that they had been expected.
It soon became evident that there was not much that went on in the
northern part of Broken Lands that the Aesir did not know about.
They were well
treated and stayed in a number of towns and accepted as a bunch of
weirdos lead by an idiot (Plink) and financed by a well known
unaffiliated Lord, Lord Granlik of Tor Carrock. In contrast General
Griffin being a respected professional soldier was viewed with
sympathy.
They journeyed
onwards with new horses, better wagons, supplies and maps. Whitebeard
and Kroc however refused to change their unusual wagons. There was a
gradual change in the terrain as they passed into the High Hills
region where the Crows Nest alliance was establishing a strong
presence. They continued without mishap further into High Hills until
they approached another colonisation area. This time it was that of
the Invictus alliance and here Lord Granlik had arranged another meet
for the General to obtain something.
To be
continued....
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 15 Apr 2015 at 13:06
A Slight Delay.
It was late April and Plink and
Ardvik returned to the camp site after another visit to the nearby
town of Newkirk, where they had once more sampled the delights of
wine, women and song. In fact they had made quite a reputation of
their new found ability to harmonize together and were always
welcome in the many drinking houses there and later in many a damsels
room. Plink always returned miserable and feeling guilty, thinking of
his distant girlfriend back home in Nefflink while Ardvik was always
still full of beans and ready for anything. As they arrived Banpop
the Mage was waiting to give them some good news.
Banpop: The General says we should
start packing and get on our way now as Kroc and the fat scout can
move around ok now.
Plink: How about Sargent Griffin?
Banpop: He's been ok for a couple of
days now. Last time he fell over was Sunday afternoon.
Ardvik: Ok, I'll get my stuff
together. It will be nice to get going again, we've been stuck here
for over a month or more. Are the healers sure no one will get it
again?
Banpop: They have said you either get
it or not and once you've had it you don't get it again.
Plink: Funny how me and Ardvic were
the only one's not to get it.
Banpop: Yup, I still don't see how I
got it and it was not very nice having it.
Plink: Funny how long it lasted. Funny
how the General got it first
Ardvic: I remember us all laughing at
him the first time. in fact I still think it was funny.
Plink: And then they all got it apart
from you and me Ardvic!
Ardvic: Yes! Funny!
Plink: Great! Super!
General Gasper: (coming out of his
tent) There you both are! Everyone is no fit enough for us to
continue. Why are you both laughing? The situation is not funny! We
are weeks behind schedule and I think we must move slowly for several
days in case someone gets dizzy again and falls of his horse. The
healers have given us some pills to help final recovery and have to
be taken with meals.
Kroc: (coming from behind the
Generals tent) Before or after? This could upset my meal
preparation and timing.
Banpop: What are you going to cook
tonight then?
Kroc: Soup.
Plink: Great!
Sargent Griffin approached them
walking slowly. Shortly after they had left the Overland Traders Hub
of the Brothers Haven where Gasper had met one of Lord Granliks
contacts in the broken lands most of the party had been affected by
one of the rarest afflictions known to the peoples of Illyriad, the
strange and deadly giddywobbleitus. Those affected lost their sense
of balance and sometimes also developed rapid blinking which did not
help focusing on anything. The first to be struck was General Gasper
who suddenly fell off his horse, got up and then walked into the
horse. He then fell down, got up again and then sat down on a fire
ants nest. He was put into a wagon but within five minutes fell out
of it. Within a few hours three scouts and Kalnut were hit. The
whole party except Plink and Ardvic and one of the scouts were struck
and the expedition hadto halt near the Invicus town of NewKirk for
almost two months while those affected slowly regained their control
over movement.
Griffin: SIR!
All supplies loaded and wagons in line. Two scouts sent forward
towards the Newlands boarder.
Gasper: Right
gentlemen, we will proceed onward. Newlands awaits us and beyond that
the Pirate Isles. We have spent to much time here.
Plink: Ohh, the
Pirate Isles, Great! Super!
Captain
Whitebeard: (who had crept up without anyone seeing him):
Arrr me beauties, tis a fair land I hear an full of likely lads with
many a jolly yarn to tell, Arrr.
To be continued.....
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 25 Jul 2015 at 15:56
In Lord Granlik's
Withdrawing room.
Lord Granlik threw the letter back on
his table and leaned back in the chair, He looked at the three men
standing before him and scowled. He was not in the best mood and they
knew it. The latest dispatch from the Broken Lands had revealed the
expedition was way behind schedule and also that the network contact
on the Pirate Isles was no longer there. Also he had just returned
from King Sigurds palace where the latest situation in the Broken
Lands had been discussed in length and decisions taken. Granlik
scowled again and waved his hand at his top advisers.
Granlik: “You best sit down
gentlemen, the King is no longer worried about the Southern Threat,
it will never happen now. The network is redundant and all key Lords
are being advised that information collecting is no longer required.”
The three advisors sit down. Slacky
takes the armchair and Purpunk-Nosh and Alvin squash down into the
sofa.
Granlik: “Well?
Someone say something...”
Count Slacky (Head of Security and
Records): “It's what we all expected Sire, the new Times has only
brought things forward. My people have already recorded an increase
in outward movement. The instant information from the south is
available to every citizen. It's unstoppable.”
Granlik: I know, Sigurd is getting
reports from every region and pleas from various alliances to do
something but in reality nothing can be done. Thousands are
unofficially moving South, draining cities and towns of workers and
the official[ exodus of communities continues to rise every month.
There are no pirates left on the south coast, they are now all
ferrymen making a fortune every week!”
Slacky: “And to think only a few
years ago we were all worried that the Rulers of the Southern Lands
would invade Elgea once the crossing was opened to general use!”
Advisor
Purpunk-Nosh (Diplomatic Corps): I remember you
calling us together to tell us the King had asked you and some other
Lords to send agents into the new lands to gather information”
Granlik: “Yes, Sigurd chose six of us
from around the land, none of us were to join an alliance and also
keep a low profile at court. We all got secret funding from the royal
Treasury to train spies and bribe pirates to transport agents to the
Broken Lands.”
Baron Alban (Treasury): I wasn't with
you then Sire, didn't you have a problem with an editor of a local
paper who nearly spilled the beans on everything?”
Granlik: “Aggh, that bloody editor
and his Free Times! Yes, somehow he found out and convinced one of my
bribed pirates to take a reporter over there and then was going to
publish the whole thing in his paper! Sigurd had a fit! I had to
throw him in jail for months but there was petitions, marches and
general uproar as he had previously announced the Free Times was
going to disclose something about the new lands. So I let him out
with a promise not to mention the possible invasion as it would have
caused panic everywhere, don't forget the land was still recovering
from the Coalition war. But then he decided to sail south before
publishing to see things for himself and got drowned for his troubles
so I closed the paper down.”
Advisor
Purpunk-Nosh: “Then the first settlers began to go
south and found out that the warlike locals weren't as warlike as we
had thought they were.”
Alban: “ Ahh, I was an major alliance
settlement co-ordinator then at Sigurds court so know about how the
southerners welcomed our goods and traders and ignored their weak
rulers.”
Granlik: “Which brings us to why I've
called you here. Sigurd is now worried about a new problem. Land
Claims! The extraordinary population growth on the southern continent
has lead to many new young Lords going there and the growth of new
militant alliances who now are claiming vast areas for themselves.
Many see themselves as independent from Elgea and our traditional
freedom of movement here. In fact, as you all know, the result of the
Coalition war caused the contraction of alliances here. As an
example H? was once everywhere, WoT is now west based and EE now
exists mainly in the north. Skeleton Boar has withdrawn into a tight
cluster, The younger generation are growing up to see many alliances
no longer spanning the whole land. A single Land Claim here will
cause chaos and must be prevented. And to cap it all the new Times,
with it's new magic technology is publishingly daily and is instantly
available to every citizen. The King is alarmed, as is others.”
Slacky: “ I agree my Lord but what
can we do? Progress is progress as night follows day.”
Granlik: “Hah! Tell that to Sigurd!
He has sent a private letter to all Lords throughout Elega asking
them to oppose any attempt to form a Land Claim and to make certain
all schools teach the principals of freedom of movement as a
priority. He has also stopped all funding to us key Lords for the
southern spy network. I am disbanding my section as of this minute
and you Slacky will inform our agents that they are fired
immediately.”
Slacky: “ Sire.”
Advisor
Purpunk-Nosh: “ What about your nephew Plink's
expedition Sire? General Gasper I understand is collecting
information as it proceeds and it is deep into the Broken Lands and
the upkeep will now fall on the Treasury”
Alban: “ Elfs Ears, Yes it will!”
Granlik: “ Ahh, Plink, my favourite
nephew! What to do? In fact that is the main reason I called you all
here. I need advice. If I leave him there to continue he could cause
an intercontinental war but if I recall him back here he will
eventually destroy everything I have built here in Elgea, So
gentlemen, think carefully on this subject and don't make a mistake!
What shall I do?”
A deep, long silence falls in the
room and they all stare into space.
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 29 Aug 2015 at 11:30
A
Change of Direction.
General Gasper stood up and looked
round the drinking table at his travelling companions who were all
watching him and clutching their beer tankards. He remembered the
first time he had addressed them almost a year ago back in Elgea just
before they had boarded the ship at the start of the expedition to
the southern continent. He remembered the excitement and enthusiasm
of journeying to a new land that was apparent then and wondered how
they were going to react to what he was about to tell them. Lord
Granliks recent message from Tor Carrock had been a bombshell and he
took a sip of ale before he spoke.
The companions all were aware that
something important was going to be revealed and each in his own way
prepared himself for the news, good or bad.
Kroc Bosha, the orc cook stirred the
pot of fish stew he had prepared for dinner, he was pleased with the
fresh slime snakes he had bought at the market and how he had minced
them up to add to his normal mush of dried jellyfish and fish bones
with some hot weed seasoning. He was worried if his ration cash
allowance was going to be cut again.
Mage Banpop the magician was hoping
that they were finally going to move on. They had been here in this
place for weeks now and he had not managed to learn any new spells or
incantations from the nearby local temples or Mage towers. In fact
the local priests and magicians were all avoiding him as he had been
trained to always wave his arms when performing spells whereas the
local custom was to freeze movement, shut the eyes and concentrate
the mind.
Sargent Griffin just wanted to
refile his tankard as did his four scouts standing behind him. They
were professional soldiers as as such did not worry about good or
bad. They just did as the General ordered and then waited for the
next one.
Kalnut Tonk whose mission in life
was to discover new knowledge and powers that would make Banpop and
all magic redundant had drunk to much as usual and so was feeling
sleepy and wanted to go to bed and lie down. He was annoyed about
being called to a meeting in the middle of the day. The smell of fish
stew was not helping either.
Whitebeard the pirate had heard
rumours as all good pirates should and so had a good idea of what was
coming. He winked at the General and muttered under his breath “Arr
me lads, hold onto the rigging there be a storm coming”
Ardvic Grunderfutt who was sitting
between Whitebeard and Plink took note of this and thought there had
been further complaints about his singing and bawdy behaviour a few
nights previous in a local tavern when he had joined the scouts in a
birthday celebration.
Plink tried to sit still and waited
for the General to start. He already knew what was coming as his
uncle Granlik has sent him a letter as well. It was very frustrating
just sitting there and he also needed a pee as he was on his third
tankard.
General Gasper: “Ok, please pay
attention. I have received a message from Lord Granlik about our
expedition to gather information and knowledge about these southern
lands. As you know when we began exploration knowledge of the Broken
Lands was sparse, and with each mile we obtained vital information
for which he is eternally grateful. He is especially pleased with our
help to his nephew Captain Plink who has lead us thus far and has
gained leadership and command experience that will ensure a great
future for him when he returns to Tor Carrock.
There was a general murmurs of
agreement from the companions.
Plink: “ Great!
Super! I've really learnt a lot and I also got a letter from uncle
and he says we are...”
Gasper: “Thank
you Captain Plink but if I could continue? Yes? Thank you. However
things have moved on apace since our departure and unfortunately
there has been an economic downturn in Elgea and the land is now in
the gripes of a deep recession. Thus there must be drastic cuts in
expenditure in all departments. Also an unforeseen aspect of the
rapid colonisation of the Broken Lands has been an immense increase
in information flowing back home which in effect has now made our
wanderings here somewhat superfluous. “
He paused for breath, took a swig of
his ale while everyone waited for him to continue. Some looked at
each other while some took swigs themselves and the remainder wished
they had some ale left
Gasper: “ As a
result I must inform you that with immediate effect this expedition
is no longer considered to be official and thus will no longer be
supported or financed by Lord Granlik. You are all free of any
obligation to Lord Granlik and he thanks you for your service to him
and his nephew, Captain Plink. Any questions?”
There was a stunned silence. Those
who had some ale left finished it
Kroc: “ The stew
is ready now but I'll have to dish it up in the tankards cos I
couldn't find any bowls anywhere. I think one of the local beggerboys
has had them away”
Plink: “Super!
That's ok and we won't need any spoons either”
Kroc: “ The
spoons have all gone as well, I think its that ginger kid who is
always hanging around”
Banpop: “SOD THE
STEW! Dragons breath what does this mean? Are we all stranded here in
the middle of nowhere? What are we expected to do? How can Granlik do
this?”
Whitebeard “Arr
me beauties, tis a bad wind a'blowing an the mainsails gone
overboard”
Banpop: “ Is
that all he told you General? Ta very much and mind how you go? What
about you? What about Plink? What about us?”
Tonk:(suddenly
very sober) “What? What did he say? What is going on? What have I
done? What? What are we going to do? What?”
Plink: “Oh, the
General and troops stay with me and I can carry on if I wish but if
we do we will have to do some jobs to pay our way. This stew is
really good Kroc and I'll have some more”
Gasper: “Lord
Granlik does have some suggestions for you all to consider and which
I am going to tell you if you will allow me”
Plink:”Yes, he
thinks it would be a good idea if....”
Gasper: “CAPTAIN
PLINK! Please! If I could continue? Thank you. Lord Granlik is deeply
concerned about the unfortunate position we have been left in.
However he feels this could be an opportunity for us all as we are
are in a very favourable position within the Broken Lands. We are
here in the Pirate Isles which allows speedy movement by water to
most of the continent and the local Pirate Kings who control these
isles allow free movement and and also free trade and enterprise.
Thus he has seen an opportunity that will benefit both himself and,
taking into account your individual expertise and unique experiences
obtained during our journey thus far, to operate a successful
commercial and trading enterprise from here should we so wish”
Banpop: “What
are you talking about? Trading? Here? Individual expertise? How?”
Grunderfutt: “I'll
have you know I've sold a fair number of sketches while we've been
here and Plink and I get coins thrown at us when we sing in the Pigs
Head”
Gasper: ” Lord
Granlik has sent me enough money to buy this very large and spacious
building, which although somewhat dilapidated can be a base for us to
remain here and start a collective enterprise which will also act as
an unofficial Trade Centre for goods sent direct from Tor Carrock to
increase the home export trade. Captain Whitebeard would head up that
part of the business. Kroc has mentioned he would love to run a
successful restaurant and some of the local smaller Lords just
starting up and indeed some of the larger new alliances would welcome
experienced solders to give military training to their men, ehh
Sargent Griffin?”
Griffin:”SIR!
Plink: “Great!
Uncle said he though we were the best expedition that had ever gone
expediting and he also said that General Gasper could be a kind of
Ambassador here and hire people and get lots of information that
could help....”
Gasper:”Captain
Plink!”
Plink:”Ohh
sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I think its a super idea of us all
staying here as a base but I could still go and do a bit of exploring
sometimes and some of you can come with me, it would be great!. Uncle
will still send me some money but he can't carry on with paying for
us all going along together”
Tonk: “Can I
have a room where I could do some experiments and build things?”
Gasper: “build
things?”
Tonk: “Yes, make
interesting things for people to come and see them and pay to see
them. I might sell some of the things as well to bring in some more
cash”
Gasper: “ What
sort of...”
Banpop: “I could
start a course for trainee magicians, I don't think much of the
profession round here and the way they do things is just wrong”
Tonk:”I don't
want you coming in my room”
Banpop: “Why
should I want to go in your room?”
Tonk:” And your
room will have to be some way away from my room”
Plink: “ I'd
like to come in both your rooms and help you do things”
Gasper:
“GENTLEMEN!!!”
Whitebreard:
”Arr, seems a fair scheme to me me hearties an there be a number of
old shipmates willing to be jumping aboard, Arr!”
Kroc: “there's still some stew left
if anyone wants it”
Gasper: “May the Gods help me, can we have some
order and concentrate on the suggestion from Lord Granlik?”
And so Lord Granliks proposition was
eventually agreed and the Tor Carrock Trading Centre Company (TCTCC)
was established to operate from the old warehouse and jetty. (General
Gasper had in fact already purchased it some days before)
This was the easy part but then the
arguments began as to who did what and where in the building were
people to go and which bit was finished first and why some companions
did the thinking and others did the work and when were the supplies
coming from Granlik and how to run the place once it was finished.
Plink was very excited, His
expedition had now developed in a way that he had not dreamed of when
he had first thought it up while soaking in the bath back home in his
uncles castle. He had been watching his rubber duck bob aimlessly
round the groups of bubbles when it has come to him.
There were going to be good times
ahead.....
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 16 Oct 2015 at 10:34
Plink
and the Parrot.
The building adaptations were
proceeding satisfactory and with Gasper tied up with further
negotiations with the town council Plink had persuaded Whitebeard the
pirate to take him along on his weekly visit to the Blue Parrot Inn
where the captain conducted the growing shipping trade of the new
TCTCC. He had promised to be good and not upset any of the clientèle
but just before they entered the premises Whitebeard decided to
reminded him.
Whitebeard:” Arr, now listen me
laddo, you be a'going in a Parrot an tis a wild an windy place for a
land lubber to take a swig an best mind how you steer as I told you,
Arr, Jonah Whitebeard be taking you in and wants to take you out,
Arr!”
Plink: “ Oh super, great. I will be
careful and make sure I don't spill my drink Captain Whitebread.”
Whitebeard:” Mermaids Tits! Arr, I
keep telling you laddo tis Whitebeard!”
They push through the
heavy door into the Blue Parrot. The room is large and dim and smoky
and smells of tobacco and spilt beer and sweet rum and rotten fruit
and sweat and bad breath and cheap perfume. It is filled with wooden
tables and benches on which scores of sea dogs are sitting and
drinking and smoking and spitting and eating and talking in loud
voices. There are a number of others lying on the floor apparently
fast asleep. At the back of the room is a bar crowded with more sea
dogs to which Whitebread steers a steady course, pushes several
loungers aside and orders.
Whitebeard: “Ahoy
an damn ye scuppers! Two kegs o'dark lubbys to me ye twisted maggot!”
One
eyed Pugg (landlord): “Damn me good one! Tis Whitebeard again an
lookin to be drunk by noon.”
Whitebeard:
“Arr, will take me hours supping the brew here, Arr!”
Plink:
“ Ohh, it tastes quite nice and I do like it here”
One
eyed Pugg: “ Arr! Tis a travelling companion ye be bringing here
today then captain?”
Whitebeard:
Arr, this be Master Plink, a gentleman as you see an is keen on
learning the Trade an also supping good ale which calls for another
keg.”
One
eyed Pugg: “Arr, I take it you be looking for Capt. No Nose or
Noddy Jim for business?”
Whitebeard:
“ Arr, that I be... but I see them not.”
One
eyed Pugg: “ An you won't awhile, tis the war, an they both be
a'hauling troops an making better cash then lumping cargo around. Is
lots o'people wanting ships for battles these days, Arr!”
Whitebeard:
“Arr! Is bad news that you gives me, me old Pugg. I'll rest me sea
legs then”
He
moves away from the bar and slowly mooches over to an empty table
followed by Plink. Several eyes follow them and heads nod to each
other and fingers are pointed. Once seated (with his back to the
wall) Whitebeard scans the room looking for familer faces, faces he
knows, faces he could approch and faces to aviod. Plink, who is
facing the wall, swings round to see the room and gazes with open
interest at everyone else. This causes scowls and mutterings and dark
looks and promps Whitebeard to give more advice.
Whitebeard:
“Arr me laddo! Tis best not lookin at the scubbers in a Parrot Inn.
Tis not nice an could mean ye leave missing things that don't grow
back! Jus drink away an stay here an always keep the keg filled up.”
Plink:
“ This is great, super! Blue Parrot! Are there any more blue
parrots for us to visit?”
Whitebeard:
“ Arr me little rascal, do ye not know that all pirate inns are
parrots? Bless ye sodden soul laddo. But this here is the only blue
one. There be a yellow parrot an a red parrot an a dark green parrot
an a dirty parrot an there be a stuffed parrot on the coast of Larn.
There are parrots all over the land an seas an pirates everywhere can
find a welcoming keg and a snug bed an soft company, Arr!”
Plink:
“ Super!”
Whitebeard:
“ Now me laddo... I've seen a shipmate an is going to talk to him
so you just sit here an I'll be back once I've sorted out a cargo to
be taken to your uncle, Lord Granlik back in the old country.
Remember, keep ye nose clean and drink ye drink.”
Suddenly
Plink finds himself alone looking at a wall. There are various
comments written on the wall, mainly concerning the establishment,
various clientèle, both male and female, pirate ships and locations,
Port officials and suggestions as to what can be done to them, exotic
drawings carved with loving care and some very suggestive poems that
look quite interesting. Plink leans forward to read an extremely
informative piece of prose when someone slaps him on the shoulder and
sits down next to him.
Mascara
Billy: “Hallo sailor!”
Plink:
“ Ohh hallo, I'm not a sailor”
Mascara
Billy: “Don't worry, neither am I (he nudges Plink in the ribs)
Haven't seen you before in here.”
Plink:
“No, it's my first time.”
Mascara
Billy: “Ooh, fancy that. I'm so pleased I found you then and will
really try and make you comfortable. (he grabs Plinks hand and begins
to shake it) My names Billy and I can show you around.”
Plink:
“ Thats so nice of you but I can't move from here at the moment.
(he trys to get his hand free but Billy won't let go) are you feeling
ok?”
Mascara
Billy: “ I'm feeling fine baby (putting his other hand on Plinks
leg) you just stay sitting there and leave the rest to me!”
Before
anything else can transpire Billy is rapidly yanked from the chair
and feels Whitebeards cutlass scraping his neck. Plink jumps up and
sees Billy properly for the first time. He is wearing a purple dress
covered by a dark cloak and pink slippers. A long black tatty wig
frames a chalk white face with both eyes plastered with runny mascara
and a broken hairy nose completes the vision. Most of the room is now
filled with grinning faces and raucous laughter rings out. Shouts of
“Billy strikes again” and “Whitebeard saves his jolly rodgerer”
“All hands on dick!” follow Whitebeard and Plink as they exit
the inn, leaving Billy sobbing at the bar. Outside, a furious
Whitebeard berates Plink for putting his reputation into jeopardy and
ruining a nights drinking,
Whitebeard:
“Arr! Ye be a cussed landlubber an a hole in the bilge tank master
Plink! Tis a good thing I managed to grab Fighting Sheila, she of the
Pirates co-Conspiracy Association and agree terms to sail the cargo
as soon as she gathers her crew”
Plink:
“ I just thought he was from the local Tourist board. They have
been coming to the house recently and General Gasper thinks they
cound be helpful”
Whitebeard:
“ Arr! Tis no worry laddo an maybe better Billy saw ye before Black
Jack M'tavish and his lads took an interest.”
And
so they made their way back to the growing Trade House. Gasper was
pleased that another cargo back to Tor Carrock was fixed and
Whitebeard resolved never to take Plink with him to a Parrot Inn
again. That evening over a superb meal of squid hash and chips
prepared by Kroc Bosha, Plink startled the whole company by suddenly
declaring that you should never shake hands with a pirate. Whitebeard
said nothing and ignored several questioning looks,
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 01 Nov 2015 at 12:24
Growing Pains
Ardvic and Plink rushed up the steps
and glanced upwards where a large new sign had been erected since
they had left the building some hours age. It read Tor
Carrock Trading Company.
They continued through the half
completed entrance hall into the half completed office complex,
jumping over stacks of timber and causing the local workers to shout
at them and into the only completed office although one wall was
still not in place and the dust from the assembly yard blew in
bringing with it the sweet smell of rotting fruit.
The others were all sitting round
the main table and General Gasper was looking very annoyed. The two
young men sat down, both out of breath. The noise of banging, sawing,
hammering and shouting from scores of builders around them and in
some cases, above the room made for short tempers.
Gasper: “You are both late... again.”
Ardvic: “Sorry sir, we were delayed
by a column of orc spearmen who had been given the wrong direction to
the west docks.”
Plink (speaking at the same time): “
Ohh, we were chased by a roauge elephant that came out of the woods.”
Kalnut: “ You've both been in the Ale
House again and forgot about the meeting”
Gasper: ( glaring at Plink) “Your
uncle Lord Granlik has asked if you are learning the principles of
management and administration in our new venture and would not be
pleased if I inform him that you spend a considerable amount of time
in the local Ale House in dubious company.”
Ardvic: “ I'm not at all dubious. I'm
a talented songwriter and poet in the best glade elf tradition and
you have all said my sketches of this new trading centre have helped
construction.”
Plink: “ I think they are Great!
Super!”
Mage Banpop:” (looking at Ardvic) You
still haven't included my magical workshop in the design and it must
have good ventilation at all times”
Kalnut: “I bet those twins who like
dancing on the table were in the Ale. Now their what I call talent!”
Ardvic: “ Red hair always brings out
the expressive side of me.”
Kalnut: “ What does it bring out in
you Plink? Ha Ha!”
Gasper: “ Gentlemen! We must get on!
Now, Capt. Whitebeard has obtained the services of another ship for
the movement of goods between Elgea and us here in the Pirate Isles,
Capt Whitebeard?”
Whitebeard:” Arr me beauties.. Tis me
old shipmate Noddy Jim, he who always nods his head even when he be
saying no to some scupper. Arr, that has got him in many a scrap,
Arr, but he's a good man an can swing a marlin spike when you needs
him, Arr!”
Gasper: “Thank you capt. That means
we now have four ships available and so I think we can now purchase
more redwood for shipment, Sargent Griffin, you will go to the logger
merchant and buy sufficent.”
Griffin: “ SIR!”
Gasper: “ I can aslo inform you that
Lord Granlik has now provided us with sufficientt funds to purchase
the old fish dock and our first cargo of fruit and timber has arrived
at our elgea port and been transported onwards to Nafflink.”
Companions: “ Here here!
Super! Wow. Arr! Gnassh Poh!
Gasper: “ Yes, we are making
progress but now we must really concentrate on getting a reliable
source of income which brings us to Mr Bosha's Restaurant. We need to
get it up and running as soon as possible. Everything must be put on
hold until it is finished. The main dining room is almost done and
the proper ovens are being delivered next week.”
Kroc: “ It's a pity the first
ones were no good but I couldn't work with them”
Plink: “ Someone should have
told the forge that you were an orc and needed BIG ovens”
Banpop: (tapping the table) “My
workshop needs to be the next one after the restaurant as I NEED a
workshop to start my trainee magician training. Us dwarfs NEED to be
doing something.”
Kalnut: ( glaring at Banpop) “
You will annoy the local Tower starting up magic training. And if you
start waving your arms about to much it could affect my experiments.
Ardvic, when you work out where his workshop is going to be I want
you to put it as far away from my laboratory as possible. “
Banpop: (raising his eyebrows at
Kalnut) “ It's funny but you have really never told us what you are
going to do in this “laboratory” have you Kalnut? If anyone is
going to cause the local Mage Tower to come snooping around it will
be you and playing about with all this “science” nonsense.”
Kalnut: (raising his voice) “
Scientific research is a new and exciting field so I don't know what
I shall be doing unlike magic which is old and stuffy and everyone
just trains to do what people have been doing for ages, so there!”
Gasper:(getting a bit
exasperated) “ Whatever you do it will have to earn its keep, at
least waving your arms about will bring in the punters!”
Ardvic.: “ The Ale House wants
me to sing weekends in the main bar and I do some patron sketching at
The Kings Keg as well, Plink comes along sometimes.”
Plink: “ Its Super! Great!”
Gasper: “ As part of my duties
I have been studying the political situation here in the Broken Lands
( he nods to a large pile of The Illyriad Times on the table) and
also the general economic level ( nods to another pile of local
papers) and think we can do a bit of general advertising of our
talents and get some interest going in the company.”
Whitebeard: “ Arr, me
beauties, tis a fine crew we has here with lots of expertise on
board. I spy magics an cooking an army skills an sailing an arty
stuff an brainy shipmates, Arr! We can all be pulling on the ropes to
keep a true line.”
Banpop: (looking round the
table) “ What will Plink be doing? He was in charge of our
expedition but we aren't doing any experditioning any more and I know
his uncle is still keeping us here with the new company and is still
paying for a lot, but what will he be doing?”
There
is a short embarrassed silence, broken by General Gasper, speaking in
his best clipped diplomatic military style.
Gasper: “Captain Plink is an
officer of the Intelligence Corps and has been charged by his uncle,
Lord Granlik to observe the workings of this enterprise and report
back to him from time to time, while also providing assistance, as he
thinks fit, to members of the company as necessary. He also acts in
an advisory manner to myself, who has been appointed by Lord Granlik
as the General Manager.”
There
is another short silence and then they carry on discussing and
debating how the company would manage to earn sufficient income to
keep them all safely housed. Gasper informed them that Sargent
Griffin would be training the town guard every Friday afternoon and
he (Gasper) was now advising the local pirate King who was thinking
of having plate armour as standard infantry equipment. The workmen
carry on working about them and the fruity smell from the yard gets
stronger.
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 17 Nov 2015 at 12:03
In Lord Granlik's Trade Office.
Lord Granlik stood leaning over the
table and studying a large map of the north eastern section of the
Broken Lands. There were several other maps scattered over the table
along with pencils, rulers, protractors, rolls of coloured tape,
bottles of white paste, empty beer jugs, three piles of documents and
a half eaten cheese sandwich. Standing round the the table with him
were Count Figgy (Minister of Supply) and Baron Alban (Treasury) both
of which were watching Advisor
Purpunk-Nosh (Diplomatic Corps) leaning over the map with Granlik.
Lord Granlik: “Which city are we supposed to be looking at?”
Advisor Purplunk-Nosh: “Here Sire, by this swampy river. The
problem is that its on the wrong side of the awamps from our trading
centre so there is a ferry charge and while the convoy waited a
couple of days to be transported across the stuff disappeared
overnight.”
Granlik: “6000 heavy armour pieces vanished overnight but the rest
of the cargo was not touched at all?”
Purplunk-Nosh: “ Yes Sire.”
Granlik: “And General Gasper says we are bound by contract and thus
must send another lot of armour?”
Purplunk-Nosh: “Yes Sire. Lord Stilton is a leading member of the
local alliance and General Gasper says their support is vital in
maintaining good relations with the Pirate Hubs. Captain Whitebeard
agrees with him and also thinks his alliance will soon join the
current Land Claim war that is going on near there.”
Granlik: “ I know whats coming... We cannot aford to be seen to
renage on a contract as it will distroy all faith in the Company
thoughout the Broken Lands. Am I correct?”
Purplunk-Nosh: “ Yes Sire.”
Granlik: “Elf's Ears! More costs... Alban, why did I think up this
scheme?”
Alban: “It was to mitigate the downturn in the global economy and
also ensure we grasped a superior position in supplying war exports
in the Broken Lands my Lord.”
Granlik snorted
and stood up straight. He looked round his new Office and wondered if
it was worth the cost. His new desk, covered with half written
letters and back copies of the Illyriad Times was near the swing
door to the new balcony which overlooked the courtyard, while in the
east wall was a door leading to his old withdrawing room. On the west
wall was another door which was ajar and from which could be heard
whispers. Lastly a large double door in the north wall opened out
into the central corridor and at which two spear men stood at ease.
Granlik: “ Figgy! When is the next shipment due to sail? And has
Nifflink produced its target of siege blocks this month?
Voice
from the back office: “ It's Nafflink producing siege blocks Sire.
Nifflink does swords and chain mail Sire.”
Granlik: (taking note of the voice) “
Have they?”
Figgy: “ Have what Sire?”
Granlik: “Have Nifflink, no, Nefflink produced the siege blocks?”
Voice from the back office: “Nafflink Sire, Nefflink does leathers
Sire.”
Figgy: (taking note of the voice) “ Everyone is on schedule apart
from Nofflink which is running low in iron but they are expecting
supplies from Hub 2 in a few days Sire.”
Granlik: “Hummp”
Alban: “ Pardon my Lord but may I ask where you obtained the two
clerks in the back office?”
Granlik: “Ahh, of course you are new here. It's a long story..
there used to be a paper published here called The Illyriad Free
Times but the Editor unfortunately got drowned sailing to the Broken
Lands so I had to close it down. Then recently,when I decided to
start this Trade scheme going I realised I would need some office
staff and I remembered those two scallywags, Found them running a pie
and mash shop in Nufflink. When we began trading I tried to keep
their office door shut but it always seems to be open...”
Alban: “ They seem to be very efficient my Lord.”
Granlik: “Hmm, I think they sleep in there as well. Figgy! Ships!”
Figgy: “What Sire? Ships?”
Granlik: “ Yes Ships! When is the next shipment leaving our dock on
the southern coast?”
Figgy: “Err, I'm still waiting news that the two ships sailing
under under Capt Qou's flag have arrived from the Pirate Isles,
Sire.”
Voice from the back office: “Docked yesterday Sire, all nuts and
berries unloaded and on route to Hub 3. Should sail with cargo to the
Pirate Isles by Thursday.”
Figgy: “ Err, I think they are correct my Lord.”
Granlik: (looking sharply at him) “Figgy! Take care!”
Purplunk-Nosh: “ Well, things seem to be in order my Lord and I
must remind you that its your nephew Plink's birthday next month and
also several young ladies of the Royal court have sent self-portraits
with requests that they be sent to him for for his perusal.”
Granlik: “ Hmm.. I never got any portraits when I was young and
raring to go. Royal court! All I got were scribbled sketches done in
the local tavern. I bet the young fool will use them to swat the buzz
flies away. Anyway send them along with my present to him. The large
elephants footstool.”
Purplunk-Nosh: “ Yes Sire.”
Granlik: “ I was reading the Illyriad Times yesterday and see that
there's another of these land claim wars broken out down there.
Sigmund wets his pants every time that happens in case there is a
claim here in Elgea so he keeps sending out suggestions that all
troublemakers are given half price migration passage to the southern
continent. Of course all established alliances already put pressure
on their young upstarts to move there anyway.”
Alban: “ I understand that unofficially a number of our senior
alliances are encouraging ferment between certain southern groups so
as to impress upon the common people that land claims should not
spread to Elgea and threaten our stable existence..”
Figgy: “ Anything for a quite life.”
Granlik: “ Hmm, it can get too quite. As you know I like to catch
elephants but recently it has become a bit boring. And of couse we
are running out of places to store all those elephant foot stools.
Prehaps I should join a small war somewhere if only to give the army
some real experience . A large number of our troops have never had
any since the LWO- BSH war back in 2012.”
Alban: “ Your old alliance lost badly I understand My Lord? “
Granlik: “ Yes, we did. I remember 20,000 orcs banging on the door
and waving poles with heads stuck on the top at me”
Figgy: “ I was only a field officer then Sire and remember the
relief we all felt when they got the recall orders and thay all
marched back to Mal Motsha.”
Granlik: “Right! I think we are concluded here and I am now going
to see the Minister for War who is still trying to get me to agree a
navy when we are situated several hundred miles from the nearest
coast!. We now have a dozen of very well paid pirate captains taking
care of our shipping trade so I know his game. He just wants a larger
staff so that he will get a larger salary. Isn't that right Advisor
Purplunk- Nosh?”
Purplunk-Nosh: (who dislikes the Minister for War) “ Quite correct
Sire!”
And so Lord
Granlik and his ministers leave the Trade Office and go their
separate ways. The double doors are closed by the guards and the room
is empty. From the back office the glug of liquid and the clink of
glasses can be heard.
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 10 Dec 2015 at 11:23
The Chosen One.
Kalnut: Not bad, could be a bit more
rounded if you know what I mean.
Ardvic: Much to short and I don't like
full frontals as you can't see the ears properly.
Kalnut: Ears? What have ears got to do
with anything? Ears don't do anything for me.
Ardvic: Well, your not an elf. Ears are
very important to Elves.
Kalnut: Plinks not an elf so he doesn't
look at ears much. He checks lower down first, ehh Plink?
Plink: I think she looks super..... put
her on the ok pile.
Kalnut: If you put any more on the ok
pile it will fall over, how about a few on the rubbish pile?
Plink: But they all look great. I don't
want to discard any of them.
Ardvic: Well you will have to. What's
the point of deciding to pick out the best ones if you won't discard
any of them?
Plink had received from his uncle
Lord Granlik twelve self portraits of eligible young women who
attended the Royal Court of King Sigurd and who wished Plink to be
aware of their charms. It was widely known throughout Elgea that
Plink was Granliks favourite nephew and that the traditional way of
the ruling Ploberman family was for the current Lord to chose his
successor to rule once he was either killed, died or stepped down
from office.
Also the fact that Granlik had for
many years avoided aligning his domain with any Alliance had
attracted the interest of many Lords to a possible marriage of one of
their daughters to Plink.
So Plink had invited his close
childhood friend Kalnut and his drinking companion, the wood elf
Ardvic to help him choose a couple of likely candidates for him to
write to.
Ardvic: Perhaps if
you give them points out of ten instead of just saying Great or
Super?
Plink: That's a
super idea!
Kanut: Ok. This
one is a blond, her letter says she is a good cook, dress maker,
likes dancing.
Plink: Great! Put
her on the ok pile.
Ardvic: NO! Points
out of ten!
Plink: Err, ten!
Kalnut: Ok, Hears
another blond and I like the way she fills out that dress. Another
good cook and dress maker but likes long walks in the park.
Plink: Defiantly
ten!
Ardvic: Tell me
Plink, I've seen your uncles profile and wondered why he is called
Lord Granlik because that's his first name. He really should be
called Lord Ploberman as that is his surname. Why is he called Lord
Granlik?
Plink: Ahh, it's
traditional. The first Lord Ploberman used our surname like every
other House but after he died his son got fed up with everybody
blaming him for the mess the first Lord Ploberman caused while
learning how to be a Lord and run things. So he called himself Lord
Ploberman the Second. Then later on he realised that both his sons
were idiots and couldn't run a raffle so he decided to choose his
successor from the men within the family and after thinking about it
he picked his cousin Albert to succeed him and the family liked the
idea.
Ardvic: So Albert
became the next Lord Ploberman?
Plink: Yes he did,
but then he didn't. When Albert became Lord he didn't want to be
known as Lord Ploberman the Third so he decided to use his first name
so he called himself Lord Albert and that's how its been ever since.
I know its confusing but that's the way we Plobermans like it.
Ardvic: I see. So
if your uncle picks you to succeed him you will be Lord Plink?
Plink: Yes. Oh
look, a redhead! Put her on the ok pile Kalnut.
Kalnut: Righto,
there she goes. Has he picked you already Plink? Everybody knows you
are his favourite.
Plink: He's picked
someone but the name is in sealed envelope hanging over the fireplace
in his Withdrawing Room so its a secret. Now that's a really nice
picture and you can see her ankles as well.
Kalnut: And that
must be a bit of knee showing there. On the ok pile?
Plink: Yes please,
Super!
Ardvic: I think
the best thing is to write to then all and ask if they would like
crossing the Bitter Sea to pay you a visit here and also ask if they
mind bugs everywhere. That will sort them out.
Kalnut: What will
your girlfriend Gladriall think if she finds out that you are looking
at all these girls from the royal court? I bet she will not be all
that pleased, with her being in Nefflik an you here in the Pirate
Isles.
Plink: Ohh, I've
got a funny feeling that she is the one who told these girls to send
their portraits. Gladriall is at the royal court now since her dad,
Count Muffty sent her there last year. Uncle says she is thinking of
sending me a letter explaining why things can change when you are in
a new place and that I will understand as I'm also in a new place
here. I'm really looking forward to getting it. She's Super!
Kalnut (looking
sideways at Ardvic): Ahh...
Ardvic (returning
the look): Mmm...
Plink: Oh, have I
missed something?
Kalnut (rapidly
changing the subject) What have you done with that elephants foot
stool that your uncle sent you for your birthday? I haven't seen it
around recently.
Plink: I gave it
to Banpop. He uses it for target practise when he tries his “Zapit”
spell. It's a bit of a mess now.
The conversation dies and the
friends continue to look at the portraits and after much discussion
and debate and many ribald remarks which young men often engage in
when in only their own company and talking about young women finally
manage to reject two of the twelve by dinner time. After dinner they
quickly depart to the local Ale House before General Gasper thinks of
something for them to do.
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 01 Jan 2016 at 17:47
The New Year Wishing.
General Gasper decided that another
inspection was needed. His military training compelled him to do just
once more even though he had done one only the previous day. So he
summoned Sargent Griffin to join him and also called Plink who was
chatting to one of the local girls who had been hired to clean the
main lobby of the building.
They marched through the lobby and
turned right past the offices and into the main assembly hall. It had
been transformed. A week previous the hall had been full of plain
tables and benches and various stacks of equipment, boxes, cartons,
ropes, waterproof covers and a number of small carts and hand wagons.
The hall was now filled with three long white cloth covered tables
with benches ether side that extended up to another red topped top
table at the end of the hall. From the roof hung bundles of
evergreens and winter red berries.
Along the walls were smaller tables
on which were stacks of food bowls and tankards. On the walls there
were small hanging garlands of fragrant herbs. A number of local
women (elf and human) were checking and dusting while Kroc the cook
was supervising three table servers who were practising walking up
and down the rows without banging into each other.
Ardvic could be seen waving his arms
about at the top of the third row as the four scouts of the party
pulled the tables apart and re-arranged the benches further from the
wall. Gasper hurried over to him.
Gasper: What is
going on? What are you doing?
Ardvic: We have to
move this end of this row away from the wall.
Gasper: Why? It
was fine yesterday, why are you moving it now?
Ardvic: Its
Ulharadd, the local Pirate King. He now wants his personal orc
bodyguard in the room with him and each one is eight foot plus and
they will also be wearing their full body armour, they need at lot of
room. His valet says it was agreed when he asked earlier.
Gasper: What!` Who
agreed that?
Plink: Err, I did.
He just asked if it was a big hall and if eight guards could come in
out of the cold.
Gasper: Great Gods...
Kroc (shouting over) They will be
useful if those Elves and Dwarves from the local chamber of commerce
start arguing again.
Gasper (shouting back): What! Are they
at it again?
Kroc (shouting): Yez, the last meeting
had to be abandoned.
Gasper: We don't need this but Lord
Granlik wants the traditional Elgea New Year Wishing celebration to
be held here and be a success. The Broken Lands don't seem to have
anything like it. He thinks it will help our trade mission to hold
one and he told me to invite anybody of importance and it seems the
word has got out and everyone who thinks they are important has asked
to come.
Ardvic: I've always liked the Wishing
Party!
Gasper: Its a pain in the ass and I'm
fed up with the whole thing. I wish I knew who told Granlik that
they don't have New Year Wishing down here.
Ardvic (glancing at Plink) Didn't you
tell me....
Plink (interrupting): I think the hall
looks super. You've done a great job organising this, General.
Don't you think so Sargent
Griffin?
Griffin: SIR! Yes
Sir!
Ardvic: At least
the weather looks ok.
Two days later in a howling blizzard
the guests arrive at the Trade Centre and climb the steps into the
Lobby where General Gasper in full dress uniform and Plink,
resplendent in his House of Ploberman livery greet them. Captain
Whitebeard dressed in his best pirate gear and with the traditional
patch over his left eye siphons off the main guests into the Board
Room for a quick drink and Kalnut hands everyone else a brief summery
of the advantages of using the Trade Centre and directs them towards
the Main Hall.
In the hall a frantic Ardvic tries
unsuccessfully to hand out the menu and indicate where everyone
should sit. At the top table Banpop the Mage entertains the crowd
with some simple magic spells of coloured clouds interspersed with a
few “heat wafts” to keep the temperature up. The town health and
safety committee had decreed that the many free standing fire boxes
in the hall could not be lit until everyone had been seated. A number
of mages from the local town tower assist him with the result that
parts of the hall become extremely hot and two of the overhead
vegetation bundles catch fire. A quick “DampDown” zap puts them
out.
Sargent Griffin and his scouts have
been given the job of showing guests to their seats and smiling at
everyone which they do apart from Griffin who never smiles and just
points where they should go. Unfortunately most people under his
direction think he is also going to serve them there so they quickly
sit down somewhere else.
Once the main guests are assembled
in the Board Room Gasper and Plink join them and Whitbeard for some
small talk and drinks. In the Hall once everyone has been seated
Griffin and his men preform some spear drills accompanied by Ardvic
playing his Elven Squash Pipes. These have never before been heard in
the Broken Lands and cause the Pirate Kings guard to jump up with
weapons drawn. Luckily the other guests think it is part of the
entertainment and give a rousing cheer so they sit down again.
General Gasper and Plink leads the
main guests into the Hall. The procession includes the Pirate King
Ulharrad and his Hub Master, Chief Mage Raggrth, Bummbok the Town
Mayor, Lord Snille of the County, the Chair of the Docks and Free
Traders Association, the First Worker of the local Transport, Sailors
and General Workers Movement and representatives of several Alliances
who keep eyeing each other and keep trying to be the first in their
group and are all determined to sit next to the Pirate King at the
top table.
Everybody stands and applauds them
up to the Top table. The noise is overwhelming as the humans and
elves clap and cheer, the dwarves hallow and bang the tables and the
orcs rawrr and stamp their feet. Outside horses rear and whinny and
every dog in the town barks and howls. This is also the signal for
every local burglar to start their own new year celebrations.
Gasper gives the welcome speech and
introduces the top table while the fires are lit and the food
cauldrons are brought in. He then invites all to eat and drink and be
merry which is what everyone has been waiting for. Food bowls and
tankards are distributed and filled. Slowly the talking dies and all
that can be heard is grunting, munching, slurping, gulping, belching,
laughing, shouting and general jabbering. This continues for three
hours in which several fires are knocked over, many fights break out
and bowls and tankards are thrown between tables.
Then the hall is silenced by a
spectacular flash and bang as Banpop conjurers up his “Number three
FlashBang” and Gasper again stands up to begin the New Year
Wishing. He tells of the good times and the bad times of the old year
and what went right and what went wrong. Whitebeard keeps
interjecting with an “Arr!” to agree with him and the Pirate King
who is sitting next to Whitebeard begins to “Arr” as well and
soon the whole gathering is joining in, which to a certain extent
makes Gaspers speech somewhat inaudible.
He finishes and with a majestic
flourish summons the Old Year to appear before all those who have
lived through his term. Kalnut, dressed in rags is brought in by
Sargent Griffin and his scouts to receive judgement. Gasper sternly
berates the Old Year for not doing enough and not pleasing everybody.
He then banishes Old Year, never to return and Kalnut is dragged away
by his guard to boos and jeers. There is a slight interruption as the
Kings Orc Guard attempt to kill Kalnut but Banpop quickly throws a
“Freeze” spell on them.
Then the New Year enters to
rapturous applause. It is Ardvic dressed in white and scattering
seeds everywhere and introducing himself by singing the AloAloAlo
song . Gasper demands that he will do better then his predecessor or
face dire judgement at the end of his term. Ardvic states that he
will be the best year yet and that he cannot hang around gossiping as
he must start work immediately. He therefore dances once round the
hall, again singing AloAloAlo this time accompanied by everyone and
then leaves the hall.
Gaspers last job is to introduce
Kroc the chef who gets a wild around of applause The General sits
down once more and the dining and drinking restart and carry on until
the morning hours and everything is gone and most guests have to be
dragged out and dumped in the street.
Ulharadd, the Pirate King thinks the
New Year Wishing is a “Super” idea and a “Great” way to
celebrate new year and is much better then just getting drunk in a
tavern. He had been talking to Plink during the feast and the words
super and great seemed appropriate to use and promises to tell the
three other Pirate Kings who rule the pirate isles about it.
Later in the week Ardvic calculates
the total cost of the Wishing and Gasper spends the next day
concocting a letter to Lord Granlik explaining why the provisional
budget for the event had been so badly exceeded.
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 03 Feb 2016 at 21:12
Griffins Way.
It was raining again and he didn't
want to get up but he knew Sargent Griffin would send Knack the scout
to get him or worse, Griffin would come himself and bellow “ON
PARADE IN FIVE MINUTES, SIR!” and stand there until he got up, so
Plink crawled out of bed, splashed some water over his head, got
dressed in his uniform and stepped out of his tent.
They were in Fellandire and Griffin
was training recruits for one of the newer SIN alliance members. This
army was still small but the local Lord wanted to make his mark
quickly and so had jumped at an offer hr had read in the local paper
fromThe Tor Carrock Trading Company to supply “ Excellent Military
Training Personnel for basic troop provision at reasonable prices”.
General Gasper was surprised this
offer had been snapped up but quickly decided to supply Griffin and
two of the four scouts and then realised it would be much better to
throw in an officer as well and double the cost. The officer would
have to be Plink who was a captain in the Intelligence Corps so he
had had a word with him about his duties.
Gasper “Now
remember, your job is to just stand there and return salutes. Look
alert at all times and let Sargent Griffin work out what is to be
done. If you are asked by anyone important what is happening just say
the program is on time and the recruits are doing fine, Is that
clear?”
Plink “ Oh yes
General. I like being saluted, Super! Great!”
Gasper “ Good,
And don't forget to always wear your uniform, scout Nungarlapnung
will act as your batman when he is not helping Sargent Griffin on
duty. Is that clear Sargent?”
Griffin “ SIR!”
And so they set off to Fellandire.
On the way they passed many columns of troops marching in various
directions as the various local wars started and stopped as various
local Lords took offence at various statements in various local
papers. The Broken Lands was indeed pulsating with life.
Plink walked quickly to the training
ground and on the way was met by scout Nungarlapnung who had been
sent by Griffin to get him. They exchanged salutes. As he arrived at
the ground the rain stopped and he saw Griffin standing in front of
the two hundred odd recruits who were drawn up in six ranks. Most of
them held wooden spears but a number had what looked like very long
poles.
Knack, the senior scout was standing
at the end of the first rank and Nungarlapnung peeled off to stand at
the other end of the rank. Plink approached Griffin.
Griffin “
COMPANY ATTENTION!”
The Company wakes up and stands
straight.
Griffin “
OFFICER ON PARADE! COMPANY SALUTE, SALUTE!”
The company, now at attention. swing
their spears forward pointing upwards to hold in both hands. Several
drop theirs and those with the poles have difficulty getting theirs
up. Plink, now standing by Griffin salutes the company.
Griffin “ KEEP
THOSE SPEARS STRAIGHT! STAND STILL! GET THOSE PIKES UP! NO! DON'T
TRY AND HOLD THEM OFF THE GROUND YOU HORRABLE LUMPS OF DUNG, REST
THEM ON THE GROUND, DO YOU HEAR ME?”
Company “Yes!,
sir!, master!, what?, SIR!, Vishpar dung?, Oks!, pardon?”
Griffin “ AT
EASE! STAND STILL! REST YOUR WEAPONS! NO!!! PUT THEM DOWN.”
Plink “ There
seem to be more of them today.”
Griffin “
Another fifty turned up Sir and the storeman had run out of training
spears so tasked the quartermaster to supply some more but for some
reason just supplied those long poles.”
Plink “ Super.”
Griffin “ I will
proceed Sir!
Plink “ Great,
carry on Sargent. “
Griffin “
COMPANY WILL TURN LEFT, LEFT TURN! FORWARD MARCH, MARCH!”
Griffin marches the company off
towards the storehouse screaming insults and is joined by the two
scouts shouting instructions about keeping straight lines, marching
in step, no talking in the ranks and other military pleasantries.
Plink watches them march away and decides to go back to his tent and
come back in one hour so turns round and is surprised to see three
figures coming towards him.
They look as if they want to talk to
him so he salutes them which causes some confusion. The one with a
sight limp returns the salute, another takes his hat off and the
third one who is dressed entirly in black and carrying a black case
stops and looks round to see who he is saluting. They finally reach
Plink.
The one with the
Hat “ Ahh, General Gasper! So nice to meet you. I'm sorry we have
only just managed to come down here but as you know we have been with
the army on the border. How are the recruits doing?”
Plink “Err, they
are doing fine, Great!”
Hat “ That must
be your Sargent over there. He seems to be getting them all into
shape.”
Limp “ How are
things shaping up in general General?”
Plink “ Err,
everything is on time, yes, the program is really on time and
everything is super.”
They here Griffin bellowing orders
from the end of the training ground “Company will wheel to the
right. Right wheel!” and watch as the column wheels in front of the
storehouse. As it wheels some of the trainees trip over the long
poles and fall. Others stop and the following ranks collide with
them. The scouts rush in and begin to flog those on the floor with
their short discipline whips and also those men carrying the long
poles who are trying to pick them up.
Griffin screams “ Company HALT!
Company will form line at markers! You are a shambles! Markers stand
firm!” The scouts now rush to stand thirty yards apart and the
shambles reforms into six ranks but they are too near the storehouse
and so ranks five and six are crammed together at the back. Griffin
bellows “Company two steps forward, MARCH!” and order is once
more restored.
Limp “ Very
good! You have a good man there General.”
Plink (deciding to
tell the truth and explain that he is not General Gasper) “ Ahh, I
think I had better expl...”
Hat (interupting
him) “ Hallo! What's this?”
They watch again as a large number
of men come round the side of the storehouse and collect in a group
looking at the company and begin shouting. Knack is dispatched by
Griffin to talk to them.
The crowd gets very aminated and
wave their arms at Knack. He returns to Griffin who seems to expand
in size, points an arm at the crowd and sends Knack back to them.
The storeman emerges from his store,
waves his arms at the croud and pushes through the company to talk to
Griffin.
The shouting gets louder and Knack
is punched on the nose and so returns to join Griffin and the
storeman. The Company is now shouting back at the crowd who responds
by moving forward and start to push into the ranks and there is some
scuffling.
Plink and the three strangers look
on as bedlam and general fighting breaks out and then they hear
Griffin scream “SPEARS TO THE FRONT! FORM LINE! ON GUARD! ADVANCE
IN LINE! ADVANCE” The crowd falls back away from the line of
spears and then Griffin yells “ CHARGE!!!” The crowd flees round
the storehouse followed by the front rank and Knack. After a few
minutes Knack marches the front rank back round the corner, all with
large grins on their faces and lines up wityhe Company.
Limp” Excellent!
Riot control as well, very handy!”
Plink “Great!”
Dressed in Black
(addressing the Hat) “ Sire, I must remind you we are behind time
for the ceremony and it looks like rain again.”
Hat “ Right,
well General Gasper, I can see that our trainees are in good hands
and it is money well spent. Thank you sir and now we must be on our
way. Come along Field Marshal!”
And with that Hat doffs his hat once
more and the three strangers turn and walk away leaving Plink with
troubled thoughts. Whoever they were they had thought he was General
Gasper. But how? Had Gasper said he would come himself? Or had the
strangers just been told Gasper would be here? Should he have told
them he was not Gasper? Should he have wore a hat today? Why did the
old one have a limp? What had happened over at the storehouse? Why
didn't Knack punch the man who hit him on the nose back?
He watched as Griffin marched the
company back from the storehouse. Many were now limping and had black
eyes and bloody noses but Griffin was unrelenting “ HOLD THOSE
HEADS UP! KEEP IN FILE! NARGANLAPNUNG, TAKE THAT MANS NAME! LEFT,
RIGHT, LEFT RIGHT!”
Griffin “Company
Halt! At Ease!”
Griffin (to Plink)
“ I shall take them for combat training over in that swampy area
now Sir and I suggest you quickly return to your tent in case the
Minister of War and Field Marshal Sungerpoperlong come back”
Plink “ Great!
Thank you Sargent”
Griffin
(addressing the company again) “ ATTENTION! I am going to turn you
flappers into MEN! You will learn to do things your mothers never
dreamt of! You are going to be soldiers and proud of it! COMPANY,
LEFT TURN IN LINE! AT THE DOUBLE QUICK TROT! “
Later, after the evening meal and a
sPlink relaxed with the scouts by the riverside he asked Knack what
had happened at the storehouse.
Knack “ Ahh, the
bargemen of the river trade came looking for their punt poles. The
store man had asked the quartermaster for extra spears but there were
none in stock so the quartermaster had gone and pinched all the
bargemen's poles so they couldn't do any work and so were not going
to be paid so they came to get them back and blamed the store man.”
Plink “ What did
Griffin say about it?”
Knack “ He said
he may go and try and recruit some of the bargemen later and claim
the enlistment fee”
Plink “ Super.”
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 03 Mar 2016 at 21:25
Dear Plink.
Ardvic finally found him sitting by
the old fish dock watching the seagulls swoop and glide and pick at a
pile of rotting fruit, Plink sometimes threw a stone at them but his
heart wasn't in it. It was obvious that something was wrong and he
seemed upset. That morning at breakfast in the hall he had only eaten
one duck leg and had stomped out even ignoring Kroc the cook bringing
in hot egg and carrot mash, one of Kroc's better efforts.
Ardvic: “Hollo there, a fine day and
yet you sit here all moopy and grim.”
Plink: “Hollo.”
Ardvic: “Why the moopy? Gasper has
closed the Centre for a week and rushed off to the Capital for some
reason and all is well!”
Plink: “ Nothing is well, everything
is gone... I feel really rotten and I shall sit here all day as I
don't want to do anything, super damn.”
Ardvic: “This is not like you.
Something wrong, tell me what's up Plinky”.
Plink doesn't answer but just waves
some sheets of paper in his hand. Ardvic sits down next to Plink and
sees that he is holding a letter. Ardvic remembers there had been
some post from home on the latest cargo ship a few days ago.
Ardvic: “Aahhh...
bad news?”
Plink: " It's
terrible. My life has changed. I must go home at once. Poor uncle
Granlik.”
Ardvics heart gives a twitch. Lord
Granlik is dead! No more money for the Trade Centre. Gasper will
close everything down and return home with Plink, No more carefree
days in this wonderful land. Oh, the unfairness of Life.
Plink: “He had
always wanted a big ceremony and now he won't even be able to be
there.”
Ardvic: “By the
Gods, There isn't a body? What happened?”
Plink: “Body?,
What body?”
Ardvic: “Lord
Granlik's body, It's disappeared. And now your Lord Plink!”
Plink: “Jumping
Maggots! Has there been another ship? My uncle has disappeared? Have
you sent for Gasper to get back here at once? I must return to the
Centre !”
Ardvic: “WHOA!
Hold on... settle down... Why are you moopy and what news have you
got in that letter?”
Plink:
“Oh, It's Gladriall
my girlfriend. She
has written to say she has found someone else and is sorry about it
but I will get over it in time and uncle Granlik is upset as well as
he thoght we might get married and he wanted a big ceremony and
invite all of Elgea to come but she is sure I will find someone else
one day and not to do anything stupid”
Ardvic: “ Now I
understand.. you have had a Dear John letter”
Plink: “ His
bloody name is Simon De Groot not John and he is a slimy ponce and no
good royal court bastard who couldn't hit a elephant five yards away
with a crossbow. I never liked him when I attended court and hope he
develops bed wetting and itchy pimples all over.”
Ardvic: “So you
don't like him?”
Plink: “No.”
Ardvic:
“ Dear John letters are never welcome. I've had a few in my time.
They are useful however to copy when you have to write one yourself
so I always keep them.”
Plink:
“ Thats a super idea, I'll keep this. But I really liked Gladriall
she was really great but of course I have not seen her for over a
year now and Helvan said she is getting a bit fat in her last
letter.”
Ardvic:
“Helvan?”
Plink:
“Oh, Helvan is also at the royal court and I've been writing to her
for over a month now since she sent her portrait last year. You
remember don't you, we looked at them and gave them points out of
ten.”
Ardvic:
“Yes I do. Didn't you say Gladriall had asked her friends to send
their portraits to you?”
Plink:
“Yes.. how funny! It does show how nice Gladriall is, I'm still
upset.”
Ardvic:
“ Well never mind. As Gasper is away we could pay a visit to the
Keg House and see the Waffy twins and invite them back to the Centre
for the weekend. They are really hot and if you remember last time
they suggested we swap around and we said yes and later they asked if
we enjoyed it and we said it was great and then they said that they
hadn't swapped at all and fell about laughing at us!”
Plink:
“Super! What a great idea. It's a bit chilly sitting here.”
And so the two friends
got up and strolled through the town to the Keg House. Unfortunately
the twins were not there but Ardvic noticed a young lady by the name
of Florintin who he knew who was having a drink with her cousin who
was visiting. The girls were happy to accept an invitation to be
shown round the Trade Centre and so Plink soon forgot his Dear John
letter.
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 28 Apr 2016 at 21:03
Testing forum posting. Unable to post next Plink.
|
Posted By: Granlik
Date Posted: 01 Mar 2018 at 13:07
Back from a couple of years time out from Illyriad.
I may try and do another Plink Post to see if this forum can now take one.
|
Posted By: Dungshoveleux
Date Posted: 01 Mar 2018 at 21:53
|