This is a story with a difference in that everyone can contribute a post. Players can make more than one post but they CANNOT make consecutive posts. In this way we will all be able to have fun making up the story as we go along. Each post must take up where it's predecessor left off and should where possible make references to the Lore and and geography of the regions of Illyriad. Try and make it as funny as possible and refer to characters and actual events that have taken place.
The story concerns a trial that is taking place in the halls of one of King Sigurdsen's lowly courts where miscreants of the realm are brought before the bench to answer for their misdemeanours. I shall start by making the first post and urge anyone and everyone to carry on where I left off....
The Trial Of A Troll Impersonator (Alleged)
INTRODUCTION The Assizes of the Empirica were a foreboding building set in the regional town of Busillis in Lucerna. The circuit hearings were always a popular affair with the locals and a high point of the social calendar for the many good folk of the Lucerna. Here, once every quarter, they could pack the kids in the cart, throw in some loaves of bread and a keg of best dwarven ale and go off to town to take in the show, as the trial was referred to, and the sights.
The "sights" were hugely popular. Here the family could entertain themselves by throwing rotting matter at those held in the stocks; witness or even take part in a flogging or ducking (gender specific) and occasionally...ever so ocassionally enjoy the special treat of an execution. The popularity of punsihments tended to vary according to the race or faction of the audience. Hanging drawing and quartering always attracted the brothers of the Empirica whilst the discerning Elf might take discreet delight in the wrack stretching of dwarves which the elves tended to view as a humane corrective procedure. In contrast the dwarves would flock to and fight over the front seats whenever an "Ear Cropping" was to be had.
The scene is set then for the trial of an elf from Keshalia who was accused of the most shocking abomination of "Troll Impersonation" (with intent to cause harm by way of improper conduct).
THE JUDGE The proceedings were to be presided over by the Circuit judge for Eastern Illryiad. The right Honourable Sir Hugh Jars was a man of enormous proportions and an unpredictable reputation. He had held the position for 42 years; dispensing the King's justice and discharging judgements as he saw fit. He was however of a venerable age; rather deaf and prone to bouts of amnesia. When not presiding over Court proceedings, the right honourable gentleman usually indulged himself with succulent and exotic game pies washed down with goblets of the finest wines in the land.
To return to the trial in question in a court that was packed to the rafters with persons who had travelled far and wide. Sir Hugh Jars entered the Court and eased his distinctly large frame in to an equally large but creaking old oak chair at the head of the Court whilst the clerks, lawyers and the defendant elf were positioned in the centre aisle before him. Sir Hugh then lifted his gavel and slammed it three times against the bar of the bench at which; the cacophony of noise and chatter immediately fell slient. All eyes fell upon the Elf standing in the centre with naught but a satchel at his side. The prosecutor looking down his nose noticed that this elf was "utterly no irritatingly calm and yes, was that an insolent smile? Indeed it was. Such impudence". The prosecutor was going to feel a great deal of satisfaction when Sir Hugh dealt with this one.
JUSTICE IS A FINE PIE "The clerk of the Court will now read the charges laid before the bench." thundered the old judge at which point a long list of alleged crimes were read out in such rapid fashion that it was impossible to follow. Before the list had finished however the old judge had nodded off and had to be gently prodded by the clerk, a gnome of diminutive stature, into a waking state of consciousness.
Sir Hugh then addressed the impudent elf "Aneirin of Keshaila son of Redfist, son of Arawn and Ossian and Bragdush the bald an... what the deuce is this ? How can one elf have 5 fathers and this last name is that of an orc" Sir Hugh's jaundiced gaze first settled on the clerk who visibly shrank even further than it is possible for a gnome to shrink.
Sir Hugh then turned back to Aneirin and said "What is the meaning of this and it had better be good?" Aneirin replied immediately with due deference. " Well now your honour thereby hangs the tale. However, your magnificence, before I explain I need to show you these uhmm exhibits that I have in my bag" and before the town watch could stop him he produce 6 steaming hot pheasant and peacock pies and a flagon of impeccable Lucerna Red. These he placed directly before the already salivating lips of the most senior Court judge in all Lucerna.
By now the judge was drooling and without further ado he brought his gavel down for one more time and declared " Court is adjourned the defendant and I shall retire to my chambers to uhmm savour... I mean examine this evidence in detail.....
Is Aneirin innocent or is he a worthless rogue who likes to dress in troll's clothing only you can decide?Write on dear reader write on....
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