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Argrak View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: I is for Illyria
    Posted: 17 Jun 2013 at 08:11
Just a little rhyme that's been floating around with the orclings for a while.  I though I'd put it up here in the interest of cultural exchange, and possibly even entertainment or educational value.

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A is for Armies, how your troops move and fight.

It takes weeks or months to build them up right


B is for Beer, to make your best unit.

If you you want to recruit them, you best start to brewin’ it


C is for Commanders, you can have up to five

They lead all your armies, so keep them alive!


D is for dwarfs, scrappy but small.

Though they say that everyone else is too tall.  


E is for Elves, smug, arrogant dastards.

Though some folks get upset if you just kill the bastards.  


F is for Fighting, what every Orc craves.

The best way to prove you are smart, strong, and brave.


G is for Goblins, sneaky and sly.

A wise Orc will send them to scout and to spy.


H is for Humans, who ride very fast.

They kept all their slaves, though the Always Chiefs asked.


I is for Illyria, made made by the ‘Chiefs

Where Orcs, Elves, Dwarves, and Men fight to settle their beefs.


J is for Jousting, a good way to train.

It’s great for your lance arm, but hard on your brain.


K is for Kobolds, there’s no spearman finer.

Just train by the hundreds and send to the grinder.  


L is for Land, the Sovereignty you own.

Build structures for bonuses that help you to pwn.


M is for Malek, leader of BANE.

If I don’t put him in here, then he will complain.


N is for Newbs, best to leave them alone,

(‘Til they’ve got stuff worth stealing, and meat on their bones).


O is for Orcs, the most fearsome of races.

The others go pale from one look at our faces!


P is for Prestige, you get one every day.

Use it wisely (or buy some) to speed you on your way.  


Q is for Queuing soldiers to make.

Pay attention, you don’t want to make a mistake.  


R is for Resources, wood clay stone and ore.

If the numbers aren’t red, then you probably need more.


S is for Siege engines, bring 30 (or more)

You can’t bash in their heads ‘til you bash down the door.


T is for Taxes, that’s how you get gold.

Make sure they stay low ‘til your settlement’s old.


U is for Urgurt, who know just what to say.

“If you want to defeat them, you will find a way!”


V is for Verity, the truth of the Flame

Ask them about Sigurd, and they will explain.


W is for Wulpus, the great wolves we ride

We orcs are glad to have them on our side.  


X is for Xcrix, it looks like a cut-through

But if you go in there, the Spiders will eat you.


Y is for Yuraquncha, who don’t know their Gods.

Now Tallians fight Oracles, and they are at odds.


Z is for Zerans, who watch in the night.

With armies and towers and no one to fight.

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Ashtar View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jun 2013 at 08:17
While this is most entertaining, i would say the same thing you said to me about my handbook Argrak. While i did change Orcs to Elves in the following statement - the rest of the words are yours Big smile
Though perhaps entertaining in some circles, I find this document perpetuates false and wrongheaded stereotypes about Elves.  I hope you don't mean to disseminate it or try to pass it off as earnest advice, and I would thank you in the future to not find your amusement at the expense of my race.  


Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. -
     Buddha
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Argrak View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jun 2013 at 08:56
Wow, what are the odds of that? 

You have my assurance that I won't try to pass this off as any more than a child's rhyme.  There.  Am I happy?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jun 2013 at 09:00
I have no idea if you are happy or not :)  
Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. -
     Buddha
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Rill View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jun 2013 at 09:59
Beer

An orc and a poet too ... who woulda thunk?

Well done Argrak!

/me applauds and toasts the poet lorcqueate of Illy.
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Aral View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jun 2013 at 19:00
Now for the political version:

A is for Absa, who started a war,
That involved alliances both near and far.

B is for the illustrious Black Skull Horde, 
Despite their need to spell out every word. 

C is for Crowfed, of which we will hear more,
They're flying so high their wings don't touch the floor.

D is for Diplomacy, which ~NC~ abhors, 
Maybe that's why they're in so many wars.  

E is for Epidemic, a bit of a fool,
The sole enforcer of the 10.05 square rule.  

F is for Fairy, who build many roads, 
Perhaps they're getting bonuses of which no one else knows.

G is for GMs, who pull all the strings,
The Broken Lands will be out "Soon" by the look of these things.

H is for Harmless?, with armies so small,
You wonder how they're still an alliance at all.  

I is for Insane, which II sure is,
You can hear their heads crackle and fizz.  

J is for Jude, who may be a saint,
The general consensus is he probably ain't.  

K is for Kcrow, part of the crowfed, 
Not so "Kaendran" as we might be led.  

L is for Lasting, which peace never is,
War is what tells us who dies and who lives.  

M is for MicroMe, allianceless is she,
Although she's kinda allied with everybody. 

N is for nCrow, another Crow claim,
To me their names sometimes all look the same.  

O is for OCON, the order of consequence,
Strong in word they were, but not in self-defense.  

P is for Passive, the way Illy fights, 
We need much less whining, and many more knights,  

Q is for Q&S, and alliance of elves, 
With the new "orc handbook" they can look out for themselves. 

R is for RES, led by the dude,
Fond of white russians, and awfully shrewd.  

S is for Snuggler Crows, the bane of gc
Except on April Fools, when silenced they'll be

T is for Toothless?, what can I say?
When it comes to newb training, they have it their way.  

U is for Unusual, the odd or the strange, 
Such as casting blights far out of their range.  

V is for VIC, the proud and the glorious, 
Though when it came fighting H? they weren't very VIC-torious.

W is for War, both brutal and deft,  
Separating out who is right and who's left.  

X is for explain, which I might have to do,
The things starting with "X" are too far and too few.  

Y is for yelling, which bigshots do in GC,
I'm just glad they're not yelling at me.  

Z is for zCrow, which is yet to come live, 
Maybe the Crowfed will make it when they've got twenty-five.  



Edited by Aral - 19 Jun 2013 at 19:25
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Rill View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jun 2013 at 02:46
I think you left out ...

S is for Snuggler Crows, the bane of gc
Except on April Fools, when silenced they'll be


well done Aral!
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Ander View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jun 2013 at 15:29
Wonderful lines Aral! 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jun 2013 at 04:18
Oh dear, I did forget "S" didn't I?  Whoops, thanks rill.  
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jun 2013 at 10:49
Hmm - I prefer 
T is for TCOL, all Mal Matshan borne
With our Allies, The Dominion we form 

Just a suggestion :)  but i will say i love this version :) Nice job Aral 


Edited by Ashtar - 19 Jun 2013 at 10:53
Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. -
     Buddha
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