Luna, the court system in the United States has multiple cases attempting to distinguish what is or isn't harassment or discrimination based on gender (or race, etc.). These things are difficult to determine in real life.
If it's not blatant disregard for basic code of conduct or decency, then I'm not going to report it, and I would expect if I did report it you would probably not act on it.
Even if it's just a simple expectation that I will be less competent at (fill in the blank) because I am female, I would prefer not to encourage that reaction by shoving my gender in people's face all the time. Sure, it's better for people just to get to know me and realize that I (fill in the blank) as well as anyone else but I'm really not particularly good at (that other thing), but that would only work in a perfect world, which Illy, as wonderful as it is, is not.
One of the great things about online gaming is that we can experiment with different ways of being. For some of us, that includes de-emphasizing our gender so that we don't have to conform to gender roles -- or on the contrary, emphasizing gender more or even gender-crossing. The point is, we want the freedom to do as we wish without having gender come up so constantly, unless we bring it up ourselves.
And the most important point is, gender is NOT related to expressions of emotion. Men are happy, women are happy, the smile represents this. Men are sad, women are sad, the frown represents that. Making men and women smile differently artificially emphasizes a societal distinction many of us would prefer to escape in a fantasy game. The idea of having emoticons that fit the game environment is a fun one and a neat idea. But until gender characteristics of our avatars begin to impact game mechanics (which I hope it won't!), I hope you will decide to respect the desire of many to control to the greatest degree possible their gender identification or lack thereof.