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An Ancient Winter Tale...

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Shûl-nak View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 Dec 2014 at 07:12
The following story is non-canon nonsense crafted by a lunatic for nothing more than his own amusement. Please enjoy.
~~~



Ah, yes. Now this is a... er... a fine piece of work. An image captured centuries ago by a well-known historian, Alfrej Mudnhellr. It depicts an incredibly significant scene that he actually bore witness to himself.

Lord Nawethi Ilaniin, that Elf there in the scarf...
what do you mean, scarves are for ponces? It's an Elf... Ahem... His kingdom had been at war with the Bloodgorge Clan - Orcs, if you couldn't guess - for a very long time. Relations with their erstwhile allies, the Dwarves and Men, had all but collapsed, and now a new Orcish threat was on the horizon. Dire times.

This scene depicts an incredible feat of diplomacy. He knew that the Bloodgorge Leader - that Orc there with the flaming eyes - had asked a shaman to bless him with those great eyeballs of fire. It so happened that having your eyes constantly aflame is actually incredibly painful and hazardous, though it had facilitated his speedy rise to the top of the clan due to the sheer awe it inspired in his kin.

So he struck a bargain with the Orc. In return for aiding his kingdom by slaying the three wise men - or, high magi - of the Dwarf, Human and enemy Orc forces, he would gift the Orc this peculiar red and white hat which both soothed the agony of his burning eyes, and allowed him to shoot great gouts of fire at will. Obviously it didn't work on Elves, though the Orc would only find that out later at great personal cost.

These wizards were blighting the forest, as you can see there in the top right corner of the picture. Not a thing could live on that cursed land. It was a sick and rotting swamp of a place that even the Orcs preferred to avoid.

Anyway. The initial deal had been struck purposefully on the day of the full moon, when the Orc would have to honour his word. The Orc was named Gorgaz Klaws. His hands are folded under his arms there as a sign of peace, for the enchanted claws he strapped to his hands were his main weapon of war. Here he is honouring the bargain by providing the requested heads of his enemies.

That pig-thing there behind him is his trusty kobold companion, known only as The Krinch. At any Orcish meeting there must be feasting, so it was he who created these meat pies - 'mince' pies - from the flesh of the three wise men.

It is also worth noting that, when Orcs undertake any peaceful interaction with members of another race, they must sing a dirge. It is a little-known fact, but from what Alfrej could translate, it is the song of an axe lamenting her unquenched thirst to an Orcish warrior, who is bound by trickery to spill no blood until one hundred years have passed. How tragic. This duty fell to the Krinch also.

Ah, I'm rambling again. Now, obviously the Elves only pretended to eat the meat, but here comes a fascinating part of the story. Lord Nawethi's wife, El'a Tilien Tris, that beautiful woman there behind him, was told by a trusted court oracle that it was vitally important to bring her babe to this meeting. Something would occur that would shape his future and lead him to greatness.

As it happens, Alfrej said that he saw the newborn staring intently at a star that seemed to shine brightly through the clouds. The child also giggled every time the Orc spoke, and farted at least once.

What? Oh, yes. Well, it's understandable that you might feel concerned for their safety, but there are, in actual fact, over fourty royal Elven guards in this painting. Yes, that's right. Their concealment magic is so powerful that, although Alfrej could actually see some of them and paint them from memory, they will never appear in this painting for perhaps another ten thousand years, by which time I don't doubt it will have been destroyed. That's Elven magic for you, eh?

Anyway, Lord Nawethi had bought he and his people enough time to work on a translocating spell that brought them to a land far, far away from the warlike peoples of his home, and to a far more peaceful and happy life.

It is said that the young prince grew up to become an incredibly powerful magician who assumed his father's throne. Apparently he did things like walk on water, cure the blind and even came back from - ah, I'm rambling again. That's a tale for another time, perhaps.

Gorgaz Klawz went on a rampage, destroying and enslaving all his enemies until the day he encountered another Elven kingdom far to the west, and his magical hat failed him. Though to this day, it is best to be wary of any Orc wearing such a hat, for the honour is reserved for only the most cruel and bloodthirsty. Their duty, once a year, is to gather the heads of their enemies in a sack and distribute them to the orclings of their settlements as playthings.

To honour Lord Nawethi's ingenuity, the Elves don their pointy shoes and craft some small toy or item of clothing, often to donate to non-Elven allies as a sign of goodwill.

It is from this story that we derive some Elgean traditions that apply across all races. So, ladies and gentlemen, I hope I have enlightened you somewhat as to the origins of our winter festivities. And I bid you all a very... merry... <?>



Edited by Shûl-nak - 23 Dec 2014 at 07:37
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Artefore View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Artefore Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Dec 2014 at 08:02
Awesome story, loved it!  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GM Rikoo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Dec 2014 at 13:20
/thumbsup
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rill Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Dec 2014 at 16:07
Marvelous!
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